I've seen more than a few posts and comments from you university students, where you talk about the discovery that growing up isn't all it's cracked up to be. I know that growing up can be a rude awakening, and that many of us were not properly prepared for it. For some, your parents go to great lengths to hide the everyday stress, anxiety, and hustle that comes with adulting. Others have the misfortune of becoming adults at a young age. Either way, discovering the truth of adulthood is a life altering event. It drains some of the color out of your world, giving everything a gray film of responsibility.
Well, today I'm here to warn you that it only gets worse.
Apparently, after growing up comes growing old, and the old comedians are right... it ain't for the faint of heart.
Basically, growing old is all the same horrible responsibility of being an adult, but with more pain. I first started to notice in my late 30's... I kept putting off projects around the house because I was a little sore, and wanted to wait until I was feeling a little better. It took me over 6 months to realize that I wasn't going to feel better... this is just what being alive feels like now. Everything seems to cause a minor muscle pull or light sprain, and it takes forever to heal.
I have a very physical job, and if you have ever looked at my other account, you'll know that I do very physical projects around the house as well. Growing old is starting to interfere with both my work, and my hobbies.
When I was in my 20's, if I called in to work, it would be to say something like...
'Sorry, I was in accident on the highway on my way in this morning, and they took me to the Emergency Room... I'll be an hour late'
Now, in my late 40's, when I call in to work it's more like...
'I pulled something in my neck trying to get off the toilet this morning... I'm probably going to need the rest of the week off.'
It's not just the pain, either. Body parts are starting to show signs that they are well beyond the factory warranty. I used to have impeccable eyesight, now I need reading glasses to use my laptop.
Oh yeah, sometime around 45, I developed new sweat glands in my ass crack. I never had a problem with ass sweat in my youth, but now, I sneak into the bathroom several times on a hot day to take precautionary wipes. I've never had a skidmark in my underwear, and I'm hoping to die with that record intact. I do worry that someday I'll need a man-pon, which I'm told is a wad of toilet paper you keep in your ass crack to absorb sweat.
There's more, but I don't want to scare any of you away from growing old. It's still better than the alternative. Sure, it's challenging, but challenges are an opportunity to show off, maybe even crack a few jokes!
I picked this pic because it was taken on my birthday several years ago, and because these ice storms are like growing old... they're both an interesting thing to watch, but an uncomfortable thing to experience. I'm sure you were all smart enough to recognize the obvious correlation between winter and aging.
Thanks for reading! I hope you had a good laugh at my aching ass, and I'll see you around the COMmunity!