Each time I come across this memory, I laugh out loud because...just read on.
During my first year in school, I was so good at Facebook Love, to the extent that my friends come to me to share girls online with them. I was just known for getting girls online.
During the interval of I.T., I had my time and caught a lot of them, waiting for school to resume so we could unblind our blind love.
There was one particular girl, Florence by name, she was topping the list of the ladies I would see once we resume.
Resumption day
I got to my lodge around 6:25 p.m. after a three-hour journey. Instead of freshening up and having a good rest, my stubborn love of nature fueled my strength, and I decided to go meet the girl at the address she mentioned to me on phone call.
Things like this don't make sense to go alone, I needed someone to throw accolades at me when I'm shooting my shots, so I called my homie, Borniface, and he concurred to follow me on the journey because he likes things like that.
It has gotten dark already. We got to the junction to her street. I called her, and she said we should find a place to sit down to wait for her while she walk out.
I and Borniface looked around and found a chair in the corridor of a closed shop(the owner had closed for the day). We sat down there while calling and peeping for her to come out. Of course, she mustn't see me first; I must be the one to see her first, and if she's not up to the figure I saw on photos, then it's the Appian way.
Where we sat, there were two guys and a lady standing and discussing at the front, they were occupying the seat we just occupied. We got to know that when Borniface saw a 'China phone' and a purse on the chair.
He suggested that we pick it up and leave the scene, but I told him to leave it for them, which he refused. After much dragging, he decided to pick it up, telling me to follow him out before the owner come looking for it, but I refused to follow him because I wanted to see my love, Florence.
Borniface left with the purse and phone, leaving only me to continue my 'love hunting'.
My phone rang, I checked, and it was Florence. I picked up the call, scanning everywhere to see if I could see her first, and yeah, I saw her from a little distance, she was different from her photos, especially with her 'pregnant" stomach. I wanted to ghost and cut off, but heey! I'm a real guy! so I directed her to where I was, and as she was coming, the people standing at my front (the owners of the purse) returned to pick up their purse, and it was not there.
"Guy, did you see any phone and purse here?" The lady asked, and I replied, "No."
The three of them continued searching but couldn't find it. Then, one of them said we were two that were sitting down at this spot earlier, and he asked about the other guy (Borniface), and I said I don't know him (trying to cover up).
One of them said I was lying because he heard us discussing and laughing which it's rare for such to happen without two of us knowing, and he angrily held me by my hands to provide the second guy (Borniface).
That was the moment Florence appeared on the scene, she recognised me because she had seen my picture. She asked the guy holding me to explain what's happening which the guy did. She also tried talking out the situation with the guy, but they didn't listen to her.
Before I knew it, crowds had gathered, with all of them dragging me left and right to provide my friend..
"I must bail myself out of this," I assured myself, and I agreed to bring Borniface to them. My supposed fiance, Florence, being so concerned, was with my phone(Nokia 2700) so they won't destroy it or steal it. I signalled her, and she brought the phone. I called Borniface, told him the situation, and begged him to bring back the items.
He agreed, and within minutes, he arrived at the spot with the items, and they rushed him with blows hotter than what they've been giving me. They pushed him to where I was...as the two culprits.
Did I mention that the place was close to a bank? The soldiers as security personnls in the bank came out and bought the case to themselves. One of them gave me a dirty and well-stained slap with his Sam-papered hands. I screamed aloud in pain like a baby, and Florence was there.
Before we knew it, the police had arrived. They handcuffed us, pushed us into the van, and drove us off to the police station.
Image source
We go there, the officer in charge brought out a cutlass, had us remove our clothes, leaving just pants, made us lie down with our back facing up, and used the flat side of the cutlass to wipe us at the back, and what came out of my mouth was "Jesusssssss!" And I heard him shunned me, saying I should shut up because a thief shouldn't be calling Jesus. He said that as he continued to plaster our back with the cutlass. After he was satisfied with the cutlass wiping, he took our names and pushed us into the cell. Omo!
My first time entering a police cell. The prisoners welcomed us with blows as an initiation to the cell. The worst was when I was asked to narrate what brought me to the cell. They increased the blows when I told them that I was innocent; they just wanted me to be guilty as them.
Cutting the story short,
It was a sleepless night for me in the cell, they saw innocency on my face, and I was told to lead prayers.
I took this photo this month when I went to deliver something there. It reminded me of my ordeal
When it was dawn, my dad rushed to town after being informed of the situation. I got bail that day, and I made sure he didn't know the genesis of the whole scenario, because he wouldn't find it funny if he hears that it was a girl's issue that landed me to police cell.
Yeah, Florence came visiting when I was released, and she came with my phone... I don't know how she got to my house.
I don't know how the connection between me and Florence diffused into thin air. I wish it's possible to meet her again to laugh over this story once again.
Florence, incase you happens to see this, please trace me through the link.
Thanks for reading
This post is a submission to the Paritae blogging competition "Dating Chronicles". You're invited to join.