Hello Humans! I am a mermaid. If you live under a rock let me tell you quickly, I live underwater. I am not a wonder woman, I am a cute water woman. No, No, No apologies I meant "girl". I am 18 for the last 500 years. I don't like humans much but thanks for your invention of waterproof makeup. Now, I can look pretty whenever I want. We water beings don't have eye lids but we still use your invention of eyelashes. We like to look pretty wearing them.
Do you know what are the benefits of living underwater? First of all, we don't have to bathe like you. Last time, I remember when I was swimming near the beach, I heard noises of mom telling her son to take a bath xD. The last time when I took a bath was because of a plastic bottle thrown into the water. I didn't have the intention but it was written Aqua-Pure so I tried it. One was enough for me. It wasn't pure, you humans play games with your fellow too. You know our fellow octopus do the same. He discharges oil each time when gets defeated in the game. Fool playing or fowl playing...
You, humans, are too slow when I saw you people walking I just can't control my laughter. You guys are so dumb that you do catwalk without a cat and moonwalk sometimes in the afternoon. See us, our swimming is more modest. When we swim it's more like we are dancing and enjoying life while your walk is even boring to watch.
You, humans, are too inspired by us that you name rich crypto people "Whales". I have my best friend "Scorpion" but he doesn't like to stick with me all day and I respect his privacy too but you people have an eagle eye on your friend's life and phone too. My tail is shiny because I apply sunscreen on it daily. Don't get jealous and buy your own sunblock, oh you don't have a tail xD
Are you looking at my tail, I purchased it from Gucci. xD, don't stare at me they have started making tails after manufacturing space suits. You, humans, want your brand in everything. You, humans, are too greedy that you can't live on your land only. Now you want to make underwater cities. Where should we go? To the Moon, Never mind you are already on mars and moon too.
Last time, one of my friends used a branded hair oil and now he is bald. You have raw things in your industries and minds too. You know some people are good from you like politicians xD. Development projects, roads Bla bla bla. Why would I vote for a prince who uses most of our water budget on routes and wars xD? I would get fascinated with someone who is making a house on Mars xD. I know prices would be high for this water home as already orders are being booked. Elon Musk, can you skip to the good part? Special offer for water people xD. I am becoming greedy like you people but what can I do, you made our water polluted.
Are you laughing, I know you have used toothpaste. We use them too because they are sponges. We even use to clean the dishes too. Just like you use a sponge in your kitchen. My mother washed my little brother with that sponge too. He got dirty because the octopus spits on him.
To be honest I was shocked when I appeared on land. Numerous mermaids were soaking on the beach too. I was surprised but after a while, I noticed they were walking on legs and the tails were hanging in their hands. I got my first heart attack xD. I got my Second heart attack when my boyfriend ditched me and the third one when my favorite dress was stolen. Now I don't have a heart either so you can't hurt me xD.
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