Almost every day, I consider shutting off the social media machine and retreating from being "out there" in the digital world. I contemplate if it makes any difference to my work as an author. Does it help me when I'm lonely, or does it add to the sense of isolation?
I'm grateful for my friends, and at the same time, I get the distinct feeling that nothing would change if I disappeared. That no one would really care.
And that's okay.
Do I need to be so important that people flock to the words I put into a tweet or a FB post? Does it matter how many views I get on a TikTok video? Very few of these efforts turn into a book sale, or a real relationship.
Is it worth my time and energy? Am I having fun or wasting hours of my life that I'll never get back?
I don't have definitive answers to these questions that circle my mind. But I do have a little poem that was born of these ponderings...
I thought I'd share it here, as many of the relationships I've made in this blockchain are very real, and lasting, and cherished.
I Belong.
I belong to the trees.
To the mountains.
To the ocean, rivers, lakes.
To the wild places.
I belong to the sky.
To the songs in my heart.
To the music that feeds me.
To the stories that touch my soul.
I belong to my dreams.
To courage.
To kindness.
I belong to myself.
Nature has always inspired and humbled me, has always been there to hold me at my lowest.
My creativity has been my savior, in many ways. It gives me purpose. Gives me something that is my own, in a world where it sometimes seems as if nothing I do matters. Creativity gives me a way to channel emotions into reality, or escape reality when that's what I want to do.
I do escape a lot. Into stories. Into fantasies in my head. Into music and entertainment. And social media, too.
Am I running away from the intensity of life? Maybe.
But sometimes, escape is what gets me through the day. And I'm okay with that. Sometimes, the stories in my head or the ones I consume drown out thoughts I don't want to focus on. Thoughts I don't want to allow.
Sometimes, escape is a gift. A mercy.
And sometimes, escape leads us back to who we are.
Peace @Katrina-Ariel / @LeiaTalon
All photos mine. Top photo credit: Nat Anfield.
