Hello everyone!
Numerous people, when brazened with situations that remind them of their history, tend to condemn themselves. I say this because I’ve endured it myself. Some give up at this point, telling themselves that none of this is worth it. They fall back into their old patterns, trapped by that double way of thinking: "If I failed this time, then nothing will ever work." It’s a perfectly normal response from our brain, which prefers to return to what it knows, even if it’s not the best option.
But I’d like you to see these small moments of relapse differently, not as failures, but as opportunities to learn, adjust, and bounce back. It’s not a sign that you haven’t succeeded; it’s maybe simply a call to look at things from a different perspective.
Our brain largely operates on automatisms, on patterns embedded in our past experiences. Recently, I read a sentence that really struck me: "If our nervous system had to choose between two paths, it would prefer a familiar hell to an unknown paradise." This natural reality explains why change is so difficult.
Lisa Barrett Feldman explains that our emotions aren’t automatic responses, but rather internal constructions that develop over time. Our brain associates physical sensations with past memories, and that’s how our emotions are born.
Let me give you an example to clarify. Imagine yourself walking at the end of the day, just as the sun is setting. Suddenly, you hear a loud bang. Immediately, your heart races, and your brain identifies this feeling as fear. But then, you realize it’s a firework. At that moment, the fear disappears, and you continue your walk peacefully.
The brain is constantly making predictions based on what it already knows, not the unknown. So, if you keep telling yourself that you’re incapable, that you don’t have the skills, or that you’re doomed to fail, your brain will simply confirm those beliefs. What you think of yourself largely shapes your reality.
Understanding this was a crucial step for me. For a long time, I remained stuck analyzing the past, thinking that was the key to moving forward. But what really helped me was revising my beliefs about myself. It’s a process that takes time and requires perseverance, but by fully committing to this work, we can truly start a lasting change.
Thank you for taking the time to read these reflections, and see you soon!
