Neglectables: The Sugars

I love thinking about death. I know that's a bit of a crazy way to start talking about your own work, but death is utterly fascinating. Neglectables are my response to how we treat our stuff after we die- specifically the items that get disposed of.

The name is a portmanteau of 'neglect' and 'collectibles', a name which seemed mighty fitting for art that focuses on revitalising discarded objects with polymer clay. Each Neglectable has it's own backstory, featuring an imagination of it's former owner/user, how they died, and why their death turned their item into a creature.

What follows is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of my imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Introducing "The Sugars".


UKON ITEMS AND OBJECTS DIVISION

SYSTEM ENTRY: 181-2046

OCCULT CLASSIFICATION: LIVING OBJECT

CAUSE OF BEING: DEATH

OBJECT: TEACUP CONTAINING MOLDY TEA

ADDRESS WHERE FOUND: ██ ESDALE, RHYOPE, SUNDERLAND

REPORT DATE: 23/11/2020

REPORT BY: ARTHUR READING, JUNIOR RESEARCHER, TYNE & WEAR OFFICE

Ok folks, this one's adorable, so I expect that any research requests are made with actual research in mind. This cute little fella consists entirely of spoiled English breakfast tea, with a small ceramic teacup for a shell. When you receive this delivery, you are under the strict obligation to ensure the safety of not only the teacup shell, but also the set of saucers which match it's shell. The mouldy tea which composes the body is impossible to penetrate or damage, and is slightly chilly to the touch.

Like most of the living objects in the United Kingdom Occult Network, this living object was found alongside a deceased elderly person. In this case, envelopes piled high in the front porch were all addressed to "Martha Parker", so it's safe to assume that she is the deceased woman in question.

We were lucky that we were able to secure this object- a local member of the network lived locally, and noticed Ms Parker through the curtains. What was unlucky is that this member was spotted trying to pick the lock on the front door, and spent a night in custody of the Northumberland police. Remember: securing the occult is our TOP priority, but please refrain from breaking the law if you can help yourself!

We have identified a cause of death- a diabetic coma. We found her equipment, but only a single almost empty insulin vial could be found. We found several slices of Battenberg cake at the scene, so it seems Martha Parker had slipped into the coma just moments before settling into a snack. By the time we found her, rigor mortis had already set in, and the recliner she was sat in was covered in various body fluids.

Due to the prolonged nature of her death, we have concluded that the well-loved teacup had began to inhabit some of her spirit. She must have been rather jovial in her life, as the hermit crab has been rather playful. We have also began to narrow down any necessary requirements to maintain the spirit in containment.

Here are the provisional requirements until further research is completed:

  • The crab consists on a diet consisting of sugar in liquid form. Sugar syrups, caramel, and sugar and water solutions have all been happily consumed by the creature.
  • No more than 50ml of any liquid must be consumed by the crab within a 24 hour period. Liquid causes the crab to grow, and too much in any one sitting may result in the hermit crab outgrowing the teacup it resides in.
  • The crab, under all circumstances, must be contained with their matching saucer set. In our experiments separating the crab and the saucers resulted in aggressive behaviour. In one case, this led to the crab falling off of a lab table. We hypothesise that any damage to the teacup the hermit crab resides in will result in the living object expiring, so care must be taken to avoid this accident repeating itself.

The local Coroner's office has promised to let us know the results of any further information pertaining to Martha Parker, as per UKON recommendations. You can never be too careful with any living object and, although this one is rather adorable, we will still be following all UKON guidelines on research.

We will update this report as and when research is completed.

UPDATE 1: A distant relative of the deceased has been identified in Torquay. Martha Parker was buried on 15/12/2020 at Ryhope Cemetery with the relative and priest as the sole attendants.


"The Sugars" is listed for 0.6 ETH ($450) on OpenSea. Includes the physical with worldwide shipping (but you have to pay for shipping).

https://opensea.io/assets/0x495f947276749ce646f68ac8c248420045cb7b5e/37113653754372742933475835564805554652787707264586744390258632030178108243969

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