I was thinking about how we fall in love when I did this facepainting titled The love maze. You see, I am mostly quite a rational logic driven woman. But in love.... I am slightly more... humane.
The type of person which most would perceive as cold if they would meet me for the first time is the same person capable of great romantic gestures, love letters, cute notes and surprises. But the intensity of my emotions is greater than what I choose to show on the outside. I filter my emotions and look like an arctic iceberg when there's a fire inside. I need to constantly work on that.
When we fall in love it happens in two places. In our rational mind 1 and in our emotional mind 2. We are torn. We feel something happening in that tiny heart.... And we constantly transfer it to our rational mind for evaluation. We think our love while we experience it. We think it instead of enjoying it. We try to figure out the spices while we get a taste of it. We can't fully enjoy our emotional meal without the thought of is this right?
You see. I can agree that overthinking can be bad. But I can also agree that riding the wave of impulse love might give you severe emotional indigestion. Maybe even an ulcer of the heart. So I do believe that in love we need a proper assessment of the lover. To see him or her for what they are. It is of course good to wish for them to reach their great potential.... But we don't date or marry potential. We don't make babies with a potentially good woman or good man. We pick a good one from the get go. We choose what it is. If you take a tree at home, it won't magically convert into furniture. If you want furniture, get furniture, don't get a tree. Simple as that.
In love we complicate it because we idealise and project. We meet bad people and we want to make them good. We meet wounded people and we want to heal them. We meet slow people and we want to rush them. We meed cold people and we want to see them warm and fuzzy. That's mostly wrong. It is wise to see the great in people, but we should see and commit for what they are, if we like it. Thinking like this will make many people make different choices. To change themselves or to change the partner. Either way, the maze of love will become much easier once we understand this.
I personally think it is best to change yourself for the better than to change people. We need to discipline ourselves. We need to work on ourselves and change ourselves. Then we will start to behave better and make better decisions in all of our relationships, with our family, friends, employees/bosses/coworkers, partner. But that's my personal choice. What's powerful for me can be painful for you. But let me close this with a wise saying of Jim Rohn. In life you can choose between two things :the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. I will always choose the first for myself. What will you choose?
We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.
Jim Rohn
Have a gorgeous day and toodle loo!
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