The past year has been a very difficult time in my life. It all started with the good news that I was pregnant. I looked forward to having my child. Finally, I was going to be a mother, but what is pregnancy without symptoms? The morning sickness hit me like a tornado. For the next 18 weeks, I vomited every morning. I didn't eat much because my stomach wasn't holding anything back anyway, which interfered with my normal daily functions. I had every pregnancy symptom imaginable. I was an excellent model for anyone interested in researching the experiences of pregnant women.
I lost a baby a month before taking in. I wasn't over the trauma of losing that baby, so it was natural for me to become a mother hen. I became overly protective, going for scans every two weeks to ensure my baby was healthy. My blood pressure was constantly rising. The doctor recommended a lot of bed rest, but it didn't seem to help.
I thought the storm had passed when I delivered my baby, but I quickly succumbed to postpartum depression. I became extremely ill. I couldn't eat because swallowing was difficult for me for reasons I do not know. I blamed my poor little baby for everything that was happening to me. The days and nights were both long. I was suffering from insomnia and began to take sleeping pills in order to get at least a few hours of sleep.
I was admitted to the hospital several times due to high blood pressure while still suffering from postpartum depression. My father thought I was insane some days because of my strange acts of walking around the neighborhood barefoot and speaking to nature, as I tried to explain to him. My brother expressed concern for my mental health when he stated that my words were no longer adding up.
After a series of tears and self blame, I realized I was the only one who could save myself from whatever I was going through. It was clear that it was time to face the storm. These storms never stop. They are present in various forms. I may not see the sun because of the dark cloud, but I know that it will shine one day, and if I can learn to appreciate the rain, I'll be ready for the sunny day.
There is no such thing as a perfect time. You wait and wait, but it never comes. You are the one who must decide when it is the right moment to pick yourself up and start. Time passes while you wait for the storm to pass and opportunities pass you by. There will never be perfect weather, but you can make the most of it while it lasts.