On my birthday days back, my sister had made a post in the family group to remind our other siblings that it was my birthday.
One of my brothers had asked, "so them born am?"
Another said, 'I think say mummy say them been host cowbell promo that year for street and as she win best dancer, them carry am dash her."
On and on, similar talks poured.
We joke around these things a lot in my house. Even talks of adoption and one day, going back home amd meeting strangers(even a random person over the internet) who has come to claim us as their real kids. It's all laughs and fun to talk about. But sincerely, not once have we(let's just say, i) considered what it would spell in reality.
However, I know though, that what is described in the topic of this discussion is the experience of what is called a Late Discovery Adoptee. I can not even recall from where/when I read or even heard about it.
The thing here is, if this was the case and i think about what i would be discover, i would learn that there was a significant piece of my own personal history that had been kept secret from me. It had been covered up with a lie, perhaps only a lie of omission. My adoptive parents certainly knew all along, as well as my grandparents, aunts, and uncles. Others such as older cousins and even my parents' neighbors and coworkers may have known as well.
Some of these people that i should have been able to trust not to lie to me. For many of the others, it means that people who are complete strangers to me know a very intimate part of my life history that was kept secret from me.
The trust that was betrayed can never be
recaptured. In reality, this has caused quite a few adoptees to become completely estranged from their entire adoptive families.
Personally, how i would I react if I know "now" that I was adopted might(not very likely) be dependent on a few things, like;
How did i find out? If someone had blurted it out(certainly wouldnt be my parents cause they would be very guarded about that piece of news).Why didd the person say that? Was it to alert me or to hurt my parents?
Then, to guage my reactions properly and manage the situation, i would think: All these years that I was adopted, did i feel at any time that i was treated bad or did i feel out of place?
There are many kids who are raised by their own parents, but their lives are miserable.
So, if i am adopted, and my life is with loving and caring parents as i have now, I will not give hoot on who gave birth to me.
These outsiders who must have really gone
through a lot of hardship to raise me, they would be my heroes.
I would love them forever.
Even if the reverse were the case, even if they made my life miserable, they gave me a shelter. I'd still appreciate them.
I hope you found this piece interesting. Thank you for reading. Kindly share your thoughts in the comment section.
