My parents were one of a kind while I was growing up. My father was strict in getting my siblings and I to follow his orders. When it comes to issues of opposing interest between my father and I, he enforced his wills. My mother, on the other hand, was closer to me. She listened to my preferences better but the bulk stopped on my father's table. This limited what my mother could do.
In all of these, I realized that they did what they did because of absolute love. They wanted the best for me but in some instances they forgot that the best includes listening to me and putting themselves in my shoes to analyze issues.
It hurts when one isn't allowed to have a say in what affects him directly but in some instances, having a say could be injurious to the young mind involved. Due to this reason, striking a balance is necessary.
Where my parents got it right.
My father trained me to have an independent mind. He always told me that the money that I worked for should be my best ahead of the one given to me by my parents or any other person.
"Depend wholly on someone giving you money only if you don't have a choice." He would tell me.
He trained me to look out for opportunities and make good use of the ones that I come across. This instilled in me the spirit of hard work. I felt fulfilled whenever I spent the money that I worked for.
I remember my father telling me to always brace up for life without him as the breadwinner of the family. Each time he talked in that manner, I would reject it with the prayer that he would see us to old age before leaving. He would smile in return.
As if he looked into the future, he died while I was still an undergraduate.
I was able to navigate through the tough time that followed his demise because I had been trained to be independent as much as I could. I took up any available job to lessen the burden of my education and my upkeep on my mother.
I will forever be grateful for being brought up in such a manner. It is still helpful till date.
Where my parents got it wrong.
Before the death of my father, there was a girl in the neighborhood that he jokingly called my wife several times. My father didn't hide his willingness to have the girl become my wife.
The girl and I were still young then as I was in senior secondary school while she was in junior secondary school. My parents and her parents were friends and they felt that it was good for the friendship to translate to a marital union between their children.
After my father's death, I got to know the steps taken by my father to express his seriousness in having the girl as his daughter-in-law (my wife).
Because of this level of seriousness, my mother insisted that I make the wish of my father come to reality. Unfortunately I didn't have any feelings for the girl nor did the girl have feelings for me. However both of our parents were persuading us to give love a chance.
After a little pressure, the girl showed me that he was in love. All my efforts to let my mother know that the love wasn't real proved abortive. It got to a point that my mother saw me as being adamant. My precious mother is someone that I wouldn't want to disobey. I love that woman. In order to please her, I soft-pedal and gave consideration to the relationship.
We started the relationship but throughout the journey, I wasn't confident that the girl was sincere.
The reality dawned on my mother when the girl unexpectedly brought a suitor to introduce to her parents as her preferred fiancee. Her parents rejected the guy and insisted that she marry me.
The worst happened when the girl got impregnated by the same guy in order to seal their relationship.
I was heartbroken that my mother forced me to embark on a journey that ended up in ridicule.
I was very angry with my mother for the first time. She apologized to me and we moved on. The parents of the girl were ashamed of her actions. They also apologized to my mother and I. I had no option than to forgive my mother and move on with life.
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