Robotic mentality with cheering the emotions

Each human is unique, and it's because of unique thoughts. Each of us can think differently, and so a simple activity can also be seen from a different perspective based on how we think about it. We have different principles to judge a thing, and we made some rules for ourselves that can be considered as code.

There is no doubt with the sentence "My life, my rule." I agree with it, but it also needs to be considered that others should not be affected by the rule. Some people don't care about it, but I think in my case it's a concerning matter as it can disturb my inner peace if someone wrongly suffers for my moral code.

Many times I mentioned my robotic mentality, and many people compare me with robots. I don't blame them because I have it in my personality, although I have emotions. So surely I am not a robot, but can you guess why I got the tag of robot? And the code of my life is hidden there.

I wasn't like that since childhood, but with my growth, I became calculative, and I try to read each situation. I noticed that to predict the output of a situation, it's necessary to consider everything neutrally, and it should not be based on emotions. To be honest, when it comes to education, it's natural to not study seriously. During the time of study, I always wanted to do all the things except doing study, but it wasn't good for the output. So, from an early age, I restricted my emotions when it came to the way of studying. It's natural for other students who are serious about studying. Till that time, it was normal, but by doing this, I achieved continuous success in my academic career. That thing oiled my confidence and my nature of avoiding the emotions converted into going against my emotions. It's the thing that made me abnormal, and I started to dominate my emotions, and it was not limited within the study, and it made an impact in my daily life. Dominating the emotions or going against the emotions became my nature, and I never thought to change the habit as it was giving me good output in real life; it also didn't matter if it made me happy or sad.

So my decisions were quite logical most of the time, but sometimes logic doesn't work and I am not accurate in every case. But one time I failed to achieve something what I wanted. It was important to me, and failure gave a shock. It made me realize I have been dominating my emotions and I was nothing more than a robot or machine. The failure made me feel regret as I sacrificed many things from life, and those are irrecoverable. Now, it's more than 8 years of the failure. I am still a robot and dominate my emotions when it's about a task, work, or facing a crisis situation, but now I try to cherish my emotions also when it's necessary. I think I still have many things to do better when it comes to emotions. So, at the current time, my moral code is "Avoiding emotions is good for success, but to be happy in life, sometimes I should cherish my emotions.".