Marriage is often painted with the broad strokes of cinematic grandeur: glamorous ceremonies, giddy honeymoon phases, and golden anniversaries. But for someone like me, married for 11 enduring years, it's clear that these images capture only the surface. The reality is a palette of emotions, experiences, and revelations, some anticipated and some unexpected.
Before tying the knot, I was of the belief that love was a universal solvent, melting away every obstacle. Love, I thought, was the cornerstone of understanding. After all, isn’t that what we are led to believe? That as long as two people are in love, they'll wade through life's muck hand in hand, undeterred. But the reality of marriage brought with it a spectrum of revelations. It's not always the picture-perfect scenario we glimpse on the social media feeds of couples, where everything seems bathed in perpetual sunlight. Shadows exist.
Marriage is not a continual joyride. There are bumps, detours, and sometimes, long stretches of desolation. However, these challenges are not to be seen as pitfalls but as fortifiers. They are the trials that, if faced together, strengthen the bond, transforming it from a simple union into a formidable partnership.
One might wonder: is marriage worth these hurdles? For me, the answer is a resounding yes. Challenges don't weaken marriage; they fortify it. Just as pressure turns coal into diamonds, the pressures of life can mold two individuals into a resilient unit, radiating with the brilliance of mutual understanding, respect, and love.
But, marriage isn't a journey to be rushed into. It's a profound commitment, one that extends beyond the ephemeral feelings of infatuation. The essence of this commitment hit me one day when I realized that knowing someone isn’t just about knowing their favorite color or food. It's about understanding their silences, predicting their storms, and celebrating their joys as your own.
For those still on the brink, teetering between singlehood and marital life, I offer a piece of advice — don't rush. If you haven't spent a substantial amount of time with someone, take a step back. There are layers to a person, and time uncovers them gradually. A YouTube video titled "Young Love", albeit in Filipino (but fret not, it has English subtitles), captures this sentiment beautifully.
In sharing my experiences with the Hive community, my intention isn’t to preach. Instead, it's a call to reflection. Marriage is beautiful but complex. It's a dance that requires patience, practice, and, most importantly, genuine connection.
So, as we waltz through life, may we do so with eyes wide open, embracing not just the highs, but also the lows, for they are what truly elevate us.
This is my participation on topic of Hive Learners called Marriage
What do you think about marriage? For those who are married, is it everything you thought it would be? What was different? And what has being married taught you about yourself? For the singles, you've seen married people around you, what meaning do these people give to marriage for you? Do you feel like it's worth all the trouble? Please share your thoughts with us.
