It's understandable how we get so entangled with people and find it difficult to let them go even when the need to let go arises. We somehow hold on to that relationship with the hope of fixing things, even though it's tearing us apart one way or another. Starting a relationship whatsoever is not something I find easy because I take my time to study people, and in many cases, I have been wrong with my judgment.
After discovering I made a wrong judgment, I always try to withdraw from such relationships as soon as possible, but there are some instances when letting go became challenging, not because I had hope. Honestly, I wasn't hopeful, but the other person wouldn't just let me go easily, and out of pity, I developed a soft part towards them that would always make me change my decision after making up my mind to cut them off.
Holding on to a relationship when you ought to let go isn't a wise decision, and it almost cost me my relationship a some years ago. I had this colleague who turned friends, and because we spent so much time together every day, we had this close connection until she started acting up whenever my lover called. Deep down, I wanted cut her off, but she cautioned herself when I mentioned something about her reaction.
Letting her go eventually happened forcefully when my relationship was on the line because of her. That experience taught me not hesitate when there is a need to let go because the longer you wait, the more it becomes difficult to let go.
Fast forward to a few years ago, when I started fish farming. There was a particular guy that always joined me when I had a lot of work to do, even though I didn't invite him. I would refer to him as Kunle for the post sake.
I started tipping him and would even bring food along for him because, after doing my research, I discovered he needed a lot of help. Kunle came from Ibadan to hustle in Lagos, but things didn't go well for him, and he has been struggling ever since he arrived. We continued this relationship, and I thought I could be of great help to him; it even got to the extent that he started passing the night at my place.
My siblings weren't cool about it, but I kept telling them not to worry about him. The whole neighborhood started calling him my younger brother, and I felt great being a good influence in his life.
Months passed, and a young guy started a boutique around the farm. It wasn't long before he wrote on a board that he needed a staff, and Kunle said he wanted to apply for the post.
It's all fine and I wasn't going to prevent him from doing whatever he wanted. He applied for the job, and we were still very cool even though he stopped assisting me. He stopped sleeping at my place, which is fine as well, but I still gave him things, and he still referred to me as a big brother.
I was going about my work many months later when someone hinted to me that Kunle has started smoking badly. I didn't believe but couldn't confront him as well. I paid attention, but he was very smart about it. I asked around, and people made it clear that his boss, who was into cybercrime, influenced him.
After a while, he was so ingrained with this smoking habit and started doing it publicly. I felt bad about it because his life was going no where with that addiction.
I sat him down to discuss about his new habit one day and he said I can't understand what he was going through. I couldn't stop laughing at his claim and asked if he had any responsibility other than himself.
He said no and shared his life story with me. I shared a bit mine with him as well because he hadn't been through a quarter of my struggles in life. I even spoke to him from the bible just to open his mind to a bigger and better future.
Kunle was touched judging by his reaction, but he got addicted to smoking hard stuff too quickly. He still tried connecting with me, and I was observing; it got to a point that he started disgracing himself anytime he gets high and I had to let go of him.
I saw him with bruises one morning, and he told me that I had forsaken him. Honestly, I was moved but wasn't ready to show any affection because he didn't want to be saved. The boutique only operated for two years, and Kunle was back on the street, but there was nothing I could do.
The last time he called me his brother, I warned him not to refer to me like that again until he stops dealing with drugs. It was just a mere threat just to make him realise how angry I was at his behavior.
I just stopped seeing him, and there was no information about him from anyone. Sometimes, I think giving up on him wasn't a good one, but it's just impossible to save someone who isn't ready to be saved. I just hope that wherever he is, he finds someone who can help him overcome his addiction.
All Image Are Mine