There are only two ways to handle our fears: either we take them on and fight through them or we allow them to keep haunting us, which isn't a good option. Harboring the fear of things that we really shouldn't be scared of is quite terrible and can make us miss out on a lot of things in life.
At one point in life, we all had one thing that scared us a lot, and the feeling was really unpleasant. Whenever it's time to do that particular thing that scares us, a voice starts screaming in our heads that we can't do it, and our body submits to the voice immediately. Different thoughts would cross your mind at that moment, and trying to do that thing despite the fear would cause the heart to race like it would burst out of its place.
Despite how terrible fear makes us feel, it's not completely a negative feeling because there are things we should actually be scared of, and the absence of fear might just end up making people do reckless things. Height is one of the fears I haven't conquered, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't climb things that are high. It means that whenever I want to climb, I have to be very careful, but in a situation where there is no fear, I would climb dangerous heights without caution, and the slightest mistake from that height could be the end of me.
I believe the feeling is triggered just for us to always make extra preparation, but we misunderstand it sometimes and just walk away, which is the easiest but not the best option against our fears. From my personal experience, allowing fear to prevent us from improving always causes a setback or hindrance to personal growth.
Growing up, I was always scared of speaking publicly. It was so bad that I would rather choose to do something dangerous than face people to address them.
In church, I was one of the kids who could do everything in the children's department, but fear wouldn't let me do it unless I was forced to. It was as bad as not answering questions after teaching, and I would rather tell someone the answer instead of raising my hand and answering the question.
My teacher in the children's department would always put me in front of every activity, but that didn't change anything for me. It was the same case at school, and I can't count the number of times I got punished over the same issue, but nothing changed until I got into senior secondary school, where I was appointed the school prefect.
I had lots of duties, which included addressing students every morning, and that was the turning point for me. I knew there was a need to face my fear or face a series of embarrassments every day from my teachers, which wouldn't be a good one because whatever happens in the morning influences my day so imagine what it would look like for me to always get bad compliments every morning.
The truth is that I messed up during my early days as a prefect. I always have a lot to say on the assembly line, but I always end up saying little. I always forget everything while on the podium, and once I step down, everything will come back to me.
I was scolded by some teachers for not handling the duty of addressing the students at the assembly properly, the teachers always ended up contributing to whatever I said which wasn't the same case for the previous prefect and I figured out that I just needed extra preparedness. I started practicing in my classroom and used my classmates as my audience. They were very supportive, and before I knew it, I started spending more time addressing the students in the morning.
The improvement spread from assembly ground to church, and I started feeling really confident as long as I have prepared properly. As I grew older, I didn't get scared of speaking publicly anymore. While in the polytechnic, I did a few public speaking and even at work in the presence of my superiors, and I always made sure that I was prepared. There is no point in being overconfident because it ruins your preparation and, most times, doesn't end well.
I stop feeling scared of public speaking, but I still feel it when I am not prepared, and that's not the fear of speaking any longer; it's the fear of failure. The fear of failure is a whole different thing and its impossible for it not to come into the picture when we fail to prepare.