Growing up, I used to think that raising kids was a walk in the park; you just had to find a way to train them right, and it was the responsibility of the parent to make sure the child wasn't a nuisance to society.
But I watched a family close to mine, and the parents were great, I even envied the children's times wishing I had such parents (don't get me wrong, my parents were awesome, scratch that, they are awesome, but I guess, most children at one point or the other in their lives have wished they were children to other parents, maybe their friend's parent or something like that). But no matter how great their parenting style was, one of their children, precisely their first, stood out like a sour thumb; he was just so different from his siblings and always getting into trouble.
His attitude and behavior were always a source of worry and concern for his parents. They did all they could to make sure that he lived a good life, but at every trial, it seemed like it got worse. There was a time when he got a girl pregnant, and when the girl's parents came to his family that he was responsible for the pregnancy, he blatantly denied ever getting her pregnant, even when everyone around the neighborhood knew he was responsible for the pregnancy.
After this whole incident, I know better not to just blame the parents out rightly when presented with such issues or situations.
When a child commits a major crime or an infraction, society tends to first apportion blame to the parents for not raising the child properly, but that oftentimes isn't the case, as seen in the family of one of our family friends. Parents are in their children's life, especially in the formative years, to guide them and point them in the right direction.
Most parents actually dutifully guide and direct their kids, but there are also some who leave their children at the mercy of society to pick up whatever trait they find on the streets.
For parents who actually fulfill their duties in guiding and directing their children to the right paths, let's remember that these children don't get to be with their parents all the time, even while growing up, they still have to go to school and other gatherings that their parents might not be there with them. Have you ever thought about how easy it is to pick up bad characters, but learning the good ones comes with self-discipline and commitment?
So I think the child also has a part to play; as we grow older, autonomy begins to set in, especially from the adolescent stage; we begin to have a mind of our own, not just that but also a sense of judgment of what is good or bad. At the end of the day, it's the decision of the child that counts. I've seen children who had little or no guidance from their parents on how to go about life, maybe because of the absence of their parents or even the death of their parents, but turned out fine at the end of the day.
So it's not just the fault of the parent when a child exhibits antisocial behaviors or even commits a crime; I think the child also has a role to play in choosing to make decisions that will not make him a source of concern to society.
Although for those children who didn't really get guidance from their parents because of their absence(especially as a result of death), the world isn't always fair, for these sets of children, I don't know whom exactly to blame in this case, because they had to navigate life by themselves.
Please feel free to leave your opinions in the comments section, they are highly welcome.
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