Almost every day, children are deviating from the parts formerly laid out by their parents. It’s as if the older we get, the more we find our voices and what works for us, the more willing we are to venture into the world to find out as much as we possibly can.
Today, children don’t find it difficult to switch to a different religion from the one they were raised in, people are quick to adapt a way of life contrary to the one they used to know. This is common, and as the world gets smaller and smaller, we’re going to see even more of this.
But then, what can we say? As parents we’re meant to embrace our children and encourage them to find their own path. If what works for them is in a different sphere from what we expected, we’re meant to accept it. The era where parents chose the life their children would lead is now in the past, children now have the responsibility, and it’s up to you to accept that.
The thing is, acceptance can also be a double-edged sword. Many of us wants our children to be engineers and doctors because there will always be job security in those fields. However, in this day and age, they could decide to become skitmakers, models, and even dancers and we won’t be scared for their future because we know that a lot of people also make it in that field. We’ll find it easy to support. But to how far would we be willing to support, where do we draw the line at being supportive parents? What if our kids decide to go a route we’re very uncomfortable with? Like, the pornography industry.
Are we to support them as well? Technically, they’re not committing any crime, and as long as they’re legally adults, they can do whatever they want with their bodies. So, you as a parent, will you be supportive enough for a career like that, regardless of the stigma such a profession would bring to the family?
The answer to the question above will determine if we as parents would be really willing to go all the way when it comes to supporting our kids and their life choices.
And then, when it comes to religion, I’ve heard of families their disown their children simply because they switched religion. I’ve even heard a story of a daughter who was disowned because she changed from one Christian denomination to another. That’s how bad it can be. However, there are families that are liberal. I have a friend back in Lagos who is also catholic like me, however, his parents are protestants. They’re even ministers in their church. Yet, they’re still a happy family.
These days, it can be quite easy for people to switch religion. Social media has made it easy, everyone is proclaiming that theirs is the best, and they keep giving compelling reasons to support their stand. These things get into our heads and we can decide to try something new out. As loving and supportive parents, we can support their decisions. We don’t have to be happy about it, but we can show them that we stand with them regardless.
And just like before, what do you do when it goes too far for us? Like when your child joins a religion that’s clearly taking advantage of them. There are churches you’ll join that will ask you to sell everything you own and even take out loan, based on promises that’ll never be fulfilled. What do you do if your child manages to fall into such a trap? The only way to actually support them will be to try and get them to see why being in such churches is bad for them. But then, that may only make them see you as a threat to their newfound lifestyle.
When it comes to supporting our children, there is no one size fits all. it’s all as different as they come. You can work your ass off to train your child in the right way, only for them to open their two eyes and stray from it. You’ll know you did good as a parent, but still they still went off the right path. There is only so much you as a parent can endure. There are parents who will never condone crime, even if it’s by their children. Here in Nigeria, a father reported his son for murder. Also, here in Nigeria, a mother assisted her son to perform money rituals with an unsuspecting victim.
We all have that line we’d never cross. And as long as our kids do not cross it, then we’re good and we can support them. So, in my opinion, the idea of a supportive parent is subjective. It’s different for every one of us and we all have the ways we raise our kids and what we expect of them when they grow up.
But then, what do I know? I’m just a young bachelor who’s also a final year student. I’m not a father yet. So, I really don’t know what I’ll do if I find myself in any of the situations I mentioned in this post. But no worries, only time will guess.
