SPECIESIST: I HATE HUMANS!

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I HATE HUMANS. I hate humans for many reasons. I have tried to explain in the past but it never gets past their thick empty skulls. But I will try again (because I am nice and superior to everyone else), and hopefully this time you humans can learn a thing or two.

"Why do you love your space?"

First, I am a superior lifeform with superior intellect and I don't need to explain my reason or do anything. I will not pander to you and your senseless questions. Go away!

"Please?"

My God! For some reason you humans don't understand boundaries. You self-absorbed, bacteria-carrying, love-giving creatures! I want to tear you into halves!

What's so special about your senseless social activities where you lie and pretend to care about each other?

despicable little cockroaches

And you lots don't just stop at your endless meaningless engagements. You little despicable things go as far as pairing and having coitus, populating this ghetto of a planet with your filthy seeds. Disgusting!

Rather than drown in your meaningless and worthless lives you decide to come together and share your meaninglessness. It is the highest form of buffoonery I have ever encountered and you people even have a name for it. Love?! How pathetic!

they genuinely believe that love is a real thing

"Why do you like to be alone Mr.Nonso"

You see where I come from yeah, people mind their business. We don't share unnecessary pleasantries; we do not go out when it is not important. We stay in our space and live most of our lives in blissful silence.

Oh! How much I miss it--the beautiful silence; my mind travelling to the lengths of the universe (alone). I could conjure an entire galaxy in my mind and play God and oh boy was I a wicked one.

I remember those cold and lonely nights playing my funky tunes while moving my bare hairy buttocks like a dirty little stripper in the comfort of my bedroom, without a care in the world. Good old days…

"But you can do that here with people…"

No. I would rather be alone and petty, thank you.

"Why Mr.Nonso? Why do you want to be alone?"

Because I hate you! I hate you speaking to me; I hate you looking at me; I hate the ground you walk on and the air you breathe and I would love nothing other than to be left alone.

"Sorry but we cannot do that here. We are humans. We love and cuddle, even if you don't want it. It is your fundamental right to be loved."

I'd rather be eaten by a crocodile with tits!

You know what? I am just going to end this conversation because it seems we are getting nowhere. Enjoy your time with your fellow mindless humans while I go into the woods to take a shit, and hopefully, I find a place far away from you and your nasty little species. Bye!

"but we just want to love you...

Fick dich!


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