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In a world filled with people with different attitudes and characters, filled with both grateful and ungrateful people, I think it is high time we all start looking out for ourselves more, it doesn't mean we can not or shouldn't be good or do good, it means that we protect ourselves such in a way that no matter the set of human we encounter, we will always be guarded and on a safer side.
I know that nobody is perfect, I mean I am human and I can attest that no matter how hard I try, I will always have flaws that may not speak well of me, as every human on earth but what I try as much as possible to do away is allowing my flaws hurt people, and put me on a bad light with those people.
So, I am at this stage of my life when I hurt someone, it is an intentional act and it was done to spite the person or take revenge on the person. These are on things I can do, little things that aren't evil. I am saying this from a place of hurt, I mean, nobody is perfect t true, but it baffles me when people decide to pay back good and nice people with ungratefulness and hurt.
A friend of mine came to me and begged that I borrow him some money to purchase a gadget that was stolen from him and since I had such an amount of money sitting pretty in my account doing nothing and the fact there was a high possibility that if the money remains in my account, I might use it to do my normal impulse buying which I was trying to do away with.
I agreed to lend him the money with the promise that within a speculated period, he would give me back my money, I was fine with it, trusted him, and never thought that such a thing would break our friendship.
Unfortunately, the speculated time elapsed and he wasn't saying anything about the money, after a few weeks, I reached out to him to remind him about our deal and he pleaded with me to be patient with him, that he was expecting his pay from a job and once he gets it, he would do the needful.
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Well, he never paid me my money and stopped picking up my calls, the last time I called him for the money, he warned me to never call his line ever again, because he was never going to pay me back my money.
I was sad and hurt, and I thought of thousands of ways to make him pay my money because I felt cheated, I thought of thousands of ways to hurt him and make sure he spent the same amount of money he got from me in treating himself back to good health but a mutual friend of ours begged me to let the money go but one thing was for sure, he is never going to have such free access to me as he did before and he can never reach out to me to ask for help.
The last time we spoke, I told him that because of what he did, even if I could help him, I would never help him, and I meant it because people should take responsibility and be responsible for their actions, whether in a negative or positive light.
I would never do something for someone who I once helped or did good for and they decided to be appreciative about it or make me feel cheated and used at the end of the day. I am an extremist emotional person, I am an overthinker and when things as such happen, my emotions are always jugged up, and all around.
That friend of mine, although it has been a year since that incident occurred I am not sure I have been able to forgive myself for trusting him and forgive him for taking my kindness for granted and putting our friendship of years in jeopardy.
Some of my other friends said I was supposed to be over it and move on, maybe I have moved on but I feel betrayed by a friend who I trusted and gave out my life savings to help meet his needs at the moment and I do hope that he never reach out to me for help of any sort, because I won't be that good to help him.
Thank you for reading!!!