Warning:
Post contains highly emotional content.
Wanna tour back with me?
A swarm of thoughts is in my head, I'm wrapping coffee cups in the kitchen and folding them into boxes. Dammit, so many things we dragged in here.
The second day of packing, and it's official - we are moving.
Dear Natalie,
This is my ode to you, to our three past years.
You woman!
You were driving me nuts at some moments in your own sneaky worst way. I had all words in my head today while walking through the flat, admiring each corner as I never did before, lets's say I had my final goodbye.
But thoughts easily mess up and you never have the right words when u need them the most.
If I say only "I will miss you", I'm afraid that wont be enough and you know how much I hate clichés. U was part of my puzzle, haha no you wont get rid of me, at least not yet and I am very aware that distance do its own thing and that makes me being moody, being happy and sad at the same time. There you go, you give people emotions, even tho you are doing everything not to. U are my capital, you are closing one chapter of my life and I am so f*** grateful to it.
I moved in with you because you were real person, you gave me the keys and sent me into fully messy flat!
But lets remember when we met first time:
Why you dont have a boyfriend? Look how beautiful you are!
(all happening while Im sitting with common friend, sipping coffee and complaining about the exact damn thing!) But, your attitude annoyed me, you just slapped me in the face with that most hateful question.
Four years before I met you, I lived all by myself, knowing barely few people, and you, you brought me so many of them, exactly those who I needed. What else could I ask more for?
By the way your room was bigger and I loved it, I loved your mess and everything you are and I am not. You have no idea how many times I just leaned my head on a doorstep and admiring all of those memories you are treasuring plus additional garbage you were collecting out of boredom.
You gave me freedom, released part of me I was keeping inside of me, not knowing how to reach all of that.
You drugged me with art, you were feeding me with it.
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Your your nightly walk around the apartment, door slapping.I wont miss that, sorry not sorry. Thank you for every moment when you took a role of my mom, thank you for being my sibling (I already have, but not so bonded), thank you list can go on and on endlessly...
I took all junk food we had, dont forget to pack the salt, all kinds of salt we had. Thank you for sharing, yourself and everything you had.
You are someones part, keep that on your mind, always.
You are my second hand, but cashmere.
My encyclopedia, I so pity you cause of your blindness, and you have such a gorgeous eyes. So not aware how worth you are, how unselfish you are and so harsh on yourself at the same time, that was hurting me the most, watching you doing the same thing I was doing to myself once. Fact Im aware of, you have to beat that on your own, no one is coming to save you.
Call me, sometimes, maybe in the morning we can grab some online coffee until you decide to give a visit (expecting you when tomatoes ripe).
I survived those. You gave me the best of this city, all I came for.
Im gonna miss my Whiskas, please dont be harsh on him, just because he is a boy. This boy isnt one of those boys, he loves you and he annoys you, thats how relationships are working. Auntie will always have a place for the summer.
We had our own "Rear Window", remember we both were crying in the cinema? That was the only one we ever watched together, your favorite one.
At lest I will be able to grow some flowers now.
Please cherish them, that is you, my Vintage Gal, my sister, my mom, my shiny blue star, fucking stubborn Capricorn with an Ox heart!
ONE.
It wasn't hard to keep quiet with you. Thank you for being my home in the last three years. You are my "Rare Window".
Volim te.
Thank you @monochromes, this is my entry for the #monomad challenge, and thank you all for your time and interest in what I do.