Hello internet friends! For this blog entry, I’m participating in the ASEAN Hive Community’s 58th prompt: What’s your Bucket List? I’ll be listing down some of my personal dreams that I believe will enrich my life.
Fun fact: There’s a Filipino word that sounds similar to “bucket” and it’s the word “bakit”. “Bakit” translates to “why” in English. As I listed down the items of my bucket list, I also asked myself the question: “Bakit mo ito gustong gawin?” (Why do you want to do this?) I found that the answer is very simple – These activities make me feel the most alive.
Try an extreme outdoor activity.
Last August 2022, I tried an outdoor obstacle course of some sorts at Treasure Mountain in Tanay, Rizal. Then, last January, I visited Batangas Lakelands and tried wall climbing, rappelling and zip lining. (Read about my experience here.) As I experienced all of these activities, I felt really excited and found myself craving for more.
Personally, I’m not a very outdoorsy and athletic person. I prefer to be indoors and simply rested during my off days. That’s why I didn’t expect that I’d be able to climb, balance on or pull through any kind of outdoor course. But, apparently, I had a knack for them and I really like them!
In the future, I hope to try paragliding, cliff diving, bungee jumping and many more activities. (I’m also a fan of variety shows and I watch travel programs where my favorite celebrities try similar experiences so I’m hoping I’ll get to do those things too.)
Attend a BTS concert.
It’s just been over a year since I first became ARMY, a fan of the group BTS and I can attest that being a fan girl has improved my life significantly. From being in an unmotivated and depressed state, I learned to love myself and to find happiness in the little things.
Because of BTS, I’ve also opened my life to new experiences – trying new cuisine, meeting new people and learning a new language. Their music has also been the soundtrack of my life, providing me comfort during both the best and worst of times.
That’s why it’s been a dream ever since to attend one of their concerts. I want to have even just one night where I can soak in their performances and then give back the energy that they’ve been giving me.
Fortunately, this item in my bucket list will turn into reality really soon. I’ll be seeing the SUGA | AGUSTD concert in Bangkok with my sister @ishwoundedhealer. Saving up for everything and organizing the whole trip has been overwhelming but I know it will be worth it when the time comes.
Publish my own novel as a book.
Ever since I first drafted a story in my spiral notebook when I was in high school, I knew I wanted to be a published novelist. I want to tell people about a story that doesn’t only share my perspectives about the world but could also possibly represent people like me.
Right now, I’m being a bit more active in pursuing this dream by submitting to anthologies and contests and, of course, by blogging here at Hive. Also, I’ve actually been published for my short stories and for my poetry collection in a zine form. However, the dream is yet to be fulfilled when it comes to publishing a novel.
Writing a novel is the first struggle. I have a lot of chapter one drafts but getting past that is difficult for me since I have a lot of internal anxieties about writing. (It’s like when you want something so much, you become so afraid to ruin things. Do you feel this way too?)
One day, I hope to overcome all my worries and just write. If I’m able to do that, I just might be able to tick this item off my bucket list.
Make significant progress with my healing.
The most important item on my bucket list is also my most personal dream – I want to feel significantly healed.
Unlike the usual notions of “healing”, the kind of healing I yearn for transcends physical healing. I want to be mentally, emotionally and spiritually well. Although I know that achieving a complete state of inner peace and happiness is impossible, I want to reach a point in my life where I can look back and say that I have gone far and made so much progress from the state I used to be in.
For one, I didn’t know how to take care of myself before. I also thought that my negative emotions are destructive so I shouldn’t be allowed to have them. Instead, I want to be the kind of person in the future that listens to her needs and emotions and that copes without disregarding her feelings. I want to be able to regulate and motivate myself and to embrace the waves as they come.
Right now, I’m doing what I can to both enjoy my life and embrace my flaws. I am making progress and I hope to continue to do so. This bucket list item, for sure, is the toughest one to achieve. But even if it takes a lifetime, I’ll keep working on this.
Thank you internet friends for reading! What’s on your buckets lists and bakit? Looking forward to your own responses and to participating in more thought-provoking prompts like this.
Pauline is a digital marketer and occasional speaker for Creative Writing. Outside work, she pursues passion projects such as writing essays, poems, and short stories, composing songs and filming videos.
As a storyteller on multiple platforms, Pauline has also attempted to create multimedia content through her YouTube channel (pollenpiggy) and a podcast she hosts (“When Pigs Fly”). You can find her at @pollenpiggycreates or at pollenpiggy@gmail.com.