I know what you are thinking. A calm WAR simulator? What the heck is that?
Well, here you go. DRUMS UP. A classic of all ages. Heroes of might and magic 3 complete.
Do you remember the movie of the lord of the rings. The ring of power was called Isildur's Bane. Well, this game is MY Bane. Because I might have the most advanced computer, capable of even make leaps in time and yet at some point in my life, at some bizarre event of biochemistry in my brain I feel the urge... the NEED to come back to this game all of a sudden while shaving in a, not-longer-normal sunday morning. The day I am old mumbling on a rocking chair and I have this feeling again, and for some reason the quantum computers of the time aren't capable to deal with this pixeled glorious game, you can go ahead and bury me right beneath a mango tree. I tell ya.
So, since this a long life relationship I am here, sharing the delightful, pleasant, mindnumbing strategy turn based game I so hellishly love so much.
What's this game all about?
How so? Because you know, in a week's time, you will be capable of sowing units. I don't know how, I don't care. I just know I WANT MY UNITS, and to what? TO VIOLENTLY PATIENTLY ROAM THE MAP TO FIND AND DESTROOOOYYY.
Take a look at this:
Please excuse my paint skills. Kindly make use of zoom power to see. To bask in the glorious pandemonium lurking behind your brain. ANGELS? YES. DRAGONS? YES. SOME LIZARD WITH A BOW? HECK YEA. We got it all.
You ever been drunk and wondered who would win in a fight between a two headed lizard and a phoenix? you can get drunk again but wonder no more!
And what else can you gather besides weekly grown units? HMMMM yeesss experience, with your hero of choice.
By fighthing units on the map, or on the enemy you get experience. Every time you level up, you choose a skill that might (there are shitty ones) give you an edge over your enemies.
Resources, to build the structures to violently farm your units.
And speeelllss yyees precious speells.
You build magic guilds to let your heroes learn them and then use them on... BATTLEFIELD!
LOOK AT THAT. Gremlins dressed like wizards fighting elementals and fairies. You can thank me on the comments below. These little numbers below an unit tells you how many of them are on the battlefield. The greater the number the greater the damage.
But wait... THERE'S MORE!
Are you wondering: "Ok but why... WHY would I make these fight?" Well if you need an excuse we got... CAMPAIGNS.
It's not all just senseless patient mayhem. We got a plot, a story... greedy wizards, necromancers. Warlords wanting to get it all... (violently patiently) and with amazingly good storytelling. I tell you, these little story bits you get each day can get you quite envolved in the peaceful destruction you go building each passing day.
You don't need an excuse? We also got single player custom game, with diferent goals to win. You can start building to destroy all your enemies, find an artifact or destroy a monster on the map. Here's an starting point peek.
Visitng some structures will give your hero a boost in statistics that will also empower your entire army, so don't rely only in numbers! Take the love of making your hero the best there is. I tell you, there's so much to do in any map this is a whole dopamine trip. You know what that means? You can use this bad boy to time travel. Do you hate christmas? Well, just install this game, complete all the campaigns or even download the hero chronicles, a fan made series of campaigns and there. December melts away to nothing. You come out of your room and there are newly blooming flowers.
And what about the price? This is only 9.99 in the GOG page. So, I don't know what else to tell you besides you can watch an ogre with a club smashing an imp with no blood. Very satisfying to watch!
I am tickled to show you this. I have been wanting to make a post about this game for some time. I had an issue with the internet and couldn't post on hive for almost a week so I just get on this game and ride myself a week later. Brilliant right?
Thank you for reading. Hope my madness made you smile... or cringe.
