Pain that's not dealt with quick enough doesn't remain the same in us. It'll eventually show itself in how we treat others and whether we'll be there for them and how we respond to them.
Sometimes we walk around operating from the depths of a wound we never even recognized we still carry. Sometimes you see a person lash out out of nowhere, it wasn't nowhere, it was bottled pain. Sometimes we see people isolate themselves without telling you why, it could be for the same reason. But those around us who mean the most do not deserve our anger and bad treatment because they were not the people who hurt us in the first place, yet somehow, they feel the effects of the consequences, consequences they don't deserve.
Healing does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean detaching from the feelings that come with it. It is more about acknowledgment and comprehension of what was and taking the time to give ourselves the space to understand it. When we don't heal, we put all that onto those around us. A minor inconvenience becomes a monumentally big deal because it triggers something from the past that isn't yet closed, an open hiding wound.
This is why in cross contextual relationships, like work or home or with friends, people lash out over unimportant things that makes everyone else surprised or they fear vulnerability when someone approaches them with honest intentions. It's not fair to either party involved, nor is it healthy for anyone at all. Healing we bring to ourselves gives us a better perspective. It doesn't make the bad thing that happened good, but it allows people to respond well rather than react wrongly to something in the moment that has nothing to do with them.
Healing also brings compassion in our hearts. When you realize where you've been wronged in the first place, you're less likely to transfer that pain to others. It's that new perspective where you can finally see someone else's struggle and take it easy with them, listen, advocate or create a space where you don't interject your problems onto them.
No one can do the dirty work for you. You have to dig into the wound yourself before you can realize it's time to stop bleeding. The longer you take to do so, the more you bleed on people who never cut you in the first place.
