Feelings and emotions are very important and it's one factor that differentiates is from machines. We havin more advanced emotional expressions and intelligence also differentiates us from other animals.
But this important thing can sometimes lead us to make really poor choices in life. A feeling of kindness, generosity, selfless or care for others, it all comes from the heart. Of course not the organ heart which pumps blood, but the one we mostly refer to when we talk about genuine emotions.
There are people that are referred to by others as being heartless, and that usually means they have no care for others, they only think about their benefits and end up mostly making life cold and empty for those unfortunately connected or close to them.
Not using that heart at all is very bad, but you can also be caught in a trap of you using that heart too much. Using emotions and feelings more than reasoning and principles blind you from facts and from reality. You become vulnerable and susceptible to being taken advantage of, easily.
Let's just say you continue to help someone who always takes advantage of you in the name of caring. That is what I call, kindness without wisdom.
Real kindness that will be sustained to a point where you are seen as kind because of your continuity can only happen when you use both your heart and your mind. The feelings and emotions help, but the mind protects.
For instance, if you want to be generous, your emotions and feelings will see those in need, and there's a saying "see a need, feel a need" but assuming you only use feelings and care, and based on that you take everything you have and use it to help others. Yes you've gone beyond giving, you have sacrificed. But now you're left vulnerable with nothing for yourself.
Unless people help you now, you can't help yourself since generosity has cost you everything. However if you applied both mind and emotions, you would have helped according to your capacity while still ensuring that you'll be ok at the end of the day.
When you make decisions only with emotions, your chances of regret is higher. Because in as much as emotions are so necessary, reality is bound by principles and not emotions.
When you think through things, it gives you a clearer view of what is fair and right. Now I'm not telling you to become cruel, that's not what using your heart less means. It means become wiser. Don't react quickly to things, because that's usually a sign you're using only emotions. Most of the times, when something happens or you need to make a move, pause and spend some time to really think through and also ask whether the move you're about to make is good for you and the other person.
It's not every decision that needs to bring direct profits or value to you, but let's be real, if more of your life is spent doing things that brings no value to you, then you're not making any progress.
Selflessness does not mean self destruction or self denial, so while you're doing good to others, do good to your own self.
A strong person cares deeply, but they don’t let feelings control their actions. They listen to their heart, then confirm the truth with logic. There's a conscious effort made to maintain balance between feelings and mind. If you practice that, it won't happen instantly but overtime you'll build peace, respect and above all, self control.
Don't shut your heart completely, but use both feelings and logic in most endeavors of your life.
