If you ask some people if real and unconditional love still exists, and if the good can still prevail over the bad?
Many people would give negative replies in general just because of their experience with others at a point in their lives.
Nonetheless, it's not anyone's fault that people think real and unconditional love is nowhere to be found anymore because at times life situations can break people especially the good ones to become bad or cold-hearted, and before you know it they start believing that being a good person means you're a fool.
Just as the popular saying goes “A nice guy is a dumb guy”. Of course, being nice means that some people will play on your intelligence often but that doesn't mean everyone will. Nor will it happen all the time.
Trust is another thing that seems to be lost nowadays which I believe is becoming a norm, but while there are limits to being trusting, it doesn't mean we should not give trust and love a chance.
About 3-4 years ago I had a terrible breakup with my girlfriend and it broke me to the extent of giving up on love entirely. You might be asking if that was the first break up, well, yes, it was my first.
We were together for over 4 years and it was before we both got admitted into different schools. While we were still at home, everything was going smoothly as we both loved and cared for each other to the extent that we both wished we could just get married and stay together forever. Our Imagination was running wild as we were unbreakable.
But the moment we got admitted into different schools which was less than an hour from each other, that was when things started falling apart as we were not closer to one another like we were. So we can’t help but trust in one another to keep the fire of our love burning. Neither of us had been in a long-distance relationship before, but we thought we would ace it.
On my side, I had so much attention from multiple females than I did when I was still at home. The downside of having an innocent and cute face I guess, sometimes being handsome can be a blessing and a curse.
This was when I started finding it hard to shake most of them off as I didn’t want to seem rude or proud, so I tried to friend zone many people who got too close to me or made their intentions too obvious. I also believe she is also going through the same thing.
She would come over to my hostel during the weekend sometimes and that was when she noticed I had so many crushes and admirers in my hostel that she started thinking something was up. Back home was different because we were always together.
At first didn’t give it much thought due to how much trust and faith I still believe she has in me and honestly, I didn't let anyone in as she's the one I choose to stick with no matter what. I don’t care about you being prettier or sexy than her, I only care about her.
However, she didn’t think it that way, and before I knew it she started posting another guy on her WhatsApp status, she even put another guy as her profile picture. The moment I saw the picture I questioned her but she said it was her school father and gave all sorts of excuses that I can't remember anymore.
But deep down I didn't believe a thing because I felt disrespected for the fact that my girlfriend had another man on her WhatsApp profile picture. I lost it in that moment and stopped calling her like I used to and she also did the same.
It wasn’t long before she called to break things up because she felt things were not going the way they were when we started. Being a fronting guy I acted like it was all cool and told her to just do what makes her happy and if being with me isn't what makes her happy it's okay to find someone else.
Being a likeable person myself I thought it would be easy to find another girl and it won't be long before I forget the 4 years plus passion, love and romance we both shared.
I even mocked a friend of mine back when he had his breakup for being sad, moody and depressed for months. Unknowingly mine would be way worse and would eventually push me to rock bottom.
I heard crabs are hard-shelled outside but deep down they are all soft-hearted. Im a first decan cancerian in case you dont know what that means. And incase you also dont understand all that it’s astrology traits based on your month birth.
To cut the long story short I did find another girl but I never could find a way to love her like i wanted to. It was like I dont have a heart anymore and she noticed that too. It was at that moment that I realized that my heart was not in alignment with my false confidence. All the memories of the beautiful moment i shared with my ex still lingers on my mind, and each time i have a flash back i tried so hard not to get teary since bad bois like us shouldn’t cry. lol
It got to a point where I eventually gave up on love because if I could love her(my ex) and stay loyal all through but still get served breakfast then what's the point of being in love and hurting myself all over again?
This was how I became cold-hearted with everyone to the extent that every proposal or love gesture from the opposite sex ended up with me never yielding or giving love a chance again. I stopped finding women attractive and started seeing them as a distraction, so i focused on just making money and uhmmm started doing drugs as a coping mechanism.
Sadly, 4 years have passed by and I am still struggling to love wholeheartedly because I dont want my heart shattered to pieces again.
Today I thought about her because her birthday is this month and I just thought about how things would've been if we had been able to fight through the stormy days. Presently she's with another guy but here I am still struggling to find love again. I thought it would be easy to find love again but i thought wrong.
Nonetheless, I believe all hope is not lost and there might still be someone somewhere that could be able to find a way into my stone-cold heart.
Sorry for this being too long and almost sounded like a confession. But its a good thing to let it all out here, since she wont be seeing it.
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