（日本語は後半にあります）
【English】
Yesterday was the day my elder son's exam results were announced.
The results were scheduled to be posted on the website at 9 AM. I scanned the QR code with my phone, entered his exam number and password. And what appeared on the screen was the message: "You have not passed."
It is often said that a child's success in junior high school entrance exams depends on the parents' efforts. If that's true, then maybe I didn't try hard enough… or rather, I think that's actually the case. Up until the first semester of his sixth year, I was still highly motivated — I kept track of his progress at his entrance exam prep school and planned his studies together with him. But we kept clashing, and eventually, I just couldn't take constantly battling my son over studying anymore!
After summer break, I decided to leave his studies entirely to the entrance exam prep school. My only focus each day was making sure he left for class as early as possible. I knew there were plenty of kids studying late into the night, but I didn't push him to do that. He, like me, needs a lot of sleep.
I wonder if the outcome would have been different if I had stayed more involved until the very end. Who knows?
It was disappointing, but at least my son isn't too upset about it. He used to be an anxious and overly cautious child, but lately, he's become quite positive. So positive, in fact, that despite never getting good results in practice exams, he remained overly confident... which, to be honest, was a bit of a cognitive distortion😅
The first picture is of breakfast with the family after confirming the results. The last photo is of a car my son built with LEGO when he was five. The fact that the front of the car is ridiculously long perfectly reflects how cautious he was back then🤣
【Japanese】
昨日は、長男の志望校の合否発表の日でした。
合否は午前9時にウェブサイトで発表されることになっていました。スマホでQRコードを読み込み、受験番号とパスワードを入力。そして表示されたページに記載されていたのは、「不合格となりました」の文字でした。
中学受験は親の頑張り次第、ともいわれます。ということは、私の頑張りが足りなかったということなのかもしれません・・・というか、実際そうだと思います。6年生の1学期くらいまでは私もまだ気合が入っていて、長男の塾での進捗を確認したり、一緒に勉強の計画を立てたりしていました。ですが、どうしてもぶつかることが多く、受験のために長男とバトルするのはもう嫌だなと思ってしまったのでした！
夏休み以降は勉強は塾に任せ、私は毎日、なるべく早くに長男を塾に送り出すことだけを頑張ることにしました。深夜まで勉強している子がたくさんいることも知っていましたが、それもさせませんでした。長男は私と一緒で、睡眠時間が長いタイプだからです。
私が最後まで熱心に関わっていたら、結果は違ったのかな。どうなんでしょう。
残念ではありましたが、長男がそこまで落ち込んでいないのは救いです。小さい頃は心配性で、用心深かった長男ですが、このところかなりポジティブなので。。。ポジティブ過ぎて、模試で一度も良い結果が出なかったのにもかかわらずずっと自信満々だったのはやや認知が歪んでいると言わざるを得ませんでしたが😅
最後の写真は長男が5歳のころにレゴブロックで作った車です。車体の前方が長すぎるところに、当時の長男の慎重さが現れています🤣