Fear is a kind of essential component in life as it also serves in a way to help in the preservation of life. Like a famous African writer, Late Professor Chinua Achebe once said in his novel, Things Fall Apart, "It is good to be brave and fearless my son but sometimes it is better to be a coward, we stand in the compound of a great man and point at the ruins where a brave man once lived". Fear sometimes triggers near perfect decisions that shape life and help achieve great things.
Fear can also be detrimental as it can make a potential champion develop cold feet. Seeing adversity along the path of great success and backing out due to fear is a bad side of being fearful.
Fear is not the total absence of courage as even the most courageous in life have some degree of fear deep down but the ability to manage it and suppress it makes the difference.
My Greatest Fear In Life
- Fear Of Not Being Financially Stable Before Or At 30
Am the first child in my family and i have six other siblings making it a total of seven offsprings from my parents. I also double as the only son in the family.
For most people who come from my part of the world, Nigeria, we know that the status of a family heavily lies on the financial independence they attain. The degree of wealth found in the family sometimes regardless of the source of accruing it, is the driving force up the elite ladder. When you happen to attend any social gathering even most times at religious gathering, your finance determine your sitting position and how well your advices and decision will be accepted. In family meetings, when you talk, your finance drives the acceptance and your respect soars high.
Even up to date, in my country, most family and traditions value the male child more than the female because it is believed the continuity of the family depends on the son. Aside the concern for progeny, certain decision making lies with the son, in a situation like mine where i am the first, the son is considered next in command to the father. Sometimes, the decision of the son is taken ahead of that of the father, if he is financially bouyant of course.
Now, i have six younger siblings, all girls and base on the status ranking of families according to income, my family is in the middle class, not poor but not too financially strong. Education is one prerequisite parents owe their children aside feeding, clothing, shelter and protection. Now, being the first, my parents invested technically all they earn in training me through school. They do all things possible to provide me with the best their financial status could offer sometimes even going beyond it to make sure am comfortable in school and even out of it during break. In doing this, they never fail to remind me whenever they get the slightest chance to do so, that am the first child and also the only son, that they are doing all they can and also sacrificing all they have to make sure i come out successful, get a good job and relieve them of the duties of taking over the educational and general welfare of my younger siblings. What a commission!
Now what makes the burden even heavier is that, my father has other siblings, five in all and each has no less than six children and among all this offsprings, am the first and only graduate. This focuses all attention on me and gives me no room to fail, financially.
Now am in my mid twenties and just started my compulsory National Youth Service(NYSC) and three out of my younger siblings passed their UTME exams and awaiting admissions into the University. My father is pretty well advanced in years and the responsibility has practically shifted almost up to me completely.
Now i owe this people a lot, they have made sacrifices to see me through school, even my younger siblings with the litte they earn from petty jobs do supplement what my parents offer. Sometimes i sit and ponder over the issue. What if i don't get a well paying job? What will be the fate of these wonderful people? The respect i have earned so far in my extended family, what if i fail, will it still be present?
Well, i won't say i don't know what the likely answers will be but i still won't say it will also be what must happen.
I just focus on working hard and praying. That fear drums too hard on my heart every day. - Fear Of Marrying Late And Marrying The Wrong Partner
As i have given my position in the family, some of you will have a clue on how my choice of a life partner is suppose to be.
In as much as the male child is preferred sometimes to the female, the wife of a man in most cases have a huge effect on his life. His relationship with other members of his family, his financial management method and the morals make-up of his family.
When one marries early, all things being equal means early family building and before the parents get old, the children will be well placed to fend for themselves and their respective families.
Now, am in my late twenties, a fresh graduate, no stable job yet and with a whole load of responsibilities to take care of. I will have to see at least, three of my immediate younger siblings in tertiary institutions, make sure my parents are fairly comfortable and probably get my own house before getting married and guess what, am making an age target of 30 for marriage. (Laugh) sounds sadly-funny.
My fear are as such if all things being equal; what if i do not get financially and mentally balanced for marriage early enough? Will i meet up with the upbringing of my siblings early enough to start up my own family? How do i meet up with the proper positioning of my own children before my old age?
Now, all these have made me double up my struggle to succeed in life, if possible soon. Its a whole lot of work in front and i sometimes feel too timid for it but i do eventually get up and try standing up to it.
I just have to keep working and praying.
This is my first post in this wonderful community. Its an honor to be here.