It gets to the point in our lives when we have to do nothing but turn a blind eye to the things happening to us. I have read it time and time again, that I should try to solve the things I can solve and leave the ones I can't alone.
I suck at following these rules, I always want to solve everything. With my sciences, it got to the point where I would turn at night in bed if I am not able to solve a particular sum in school. I think about it every time, in the middle of lunch, dinner, or breakfast. I try to solve them even in my dreams.
Rest won't come to me unless the answer reveals itself. I am addicted to finding answers to certain things no matter how difficult they seem to appear.
I don't know if this is a bad trait; if I should change it or not. I just know that these days I try not to let things bother me anymore. However, the need and desire to find that which doesn't want to be found often presents itself without my permission.
It brings back my obsession, and my drive to find, discover the supposedly unhidden things. The funny thing is that every time I do it's always set me free from a particular thing.
Most of my relationship and friendship with both genders has always ended the moment I discover unhidden things.
There is something I have come to understand, if the next human has the gut to do things that could directly affect you now, regardless of their reasons, they are likely to do worst if different situations present themselves. So I find it difficult to trust them again.
We may be friends but I'll keep you at arm's length. You may or may not notice that I have suddenly secluded you from my circle. Deep down I have. Once in a while, I'll call to check up on you to give you the false illusion that I still care... Forget it, I don't. I am playing the cards of disdain and I am doing it with smiles on my face to hide everything I feel about you.
Source
Now, I have progressed from keeping some people at arm's length to completely doing away with them. No, don't think I mean killing them. Wait, it could be killing them but not physical death. So, I do away with them by not having anything to do with them. Even though things surface that I may need to pass through them, I change direction.
Recently, I believe that if there is something you know how to do very well, someone else can do better. So for the people on my blacklist, if I need something, and it's in your hands, I'll rather find someone else who has it than get it from you.
Terrible right? I thought so too. Until I read the 48 laws of power and law 2 gave me an idea. I do not have to seclude these folks, they can be around, on their own, but wrap around their guilts. I can use their guilts to my advantage.
The rules say, "hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, for he has more to prove" The more I think about it, the more I see that Robert Greene is right. Friends often feel they deserve everything, enemies don't. You know Tacitus had said, "men are more ready to repay an injury than a benefit, for gratitude is a burden, and revenge a pleasure" My enemies are an untapped goldmine that I need to explore says, Robert Greene, I am learning to use this knowledge to my advantage, every single day.
If you have no enemies, find a way to make them, he advised, I have started creating them, God helps me. I can quickly turn my friend into an enemy in split seconds, all I need is a clear reason, so we both can stay in our enemy lane in agreement.
Yesterday, someone told me, I'll be broken if I keep this up. A few years ago, another person had told me I can't shut relationships down the way I use the light bulb switch. He said I'll always need these people. Well, now, I can laugh out loud, knowing that he was right, I'll need these people, this time, they will not be burdened by the feeling of friendship, instead, they will be willing to prove that they are worthy of my choice.
This sounds weird even to me who is writing this. I have my reasons. I am hoping you will either agree or disagree. Either way, I'll learn from your reasons, if you choose the comment box to share your thoughts with me.