Life is tiring

I have a very abusive relationship with most things. Not people but things, concepts, daily expectations, routine, achievement, goals... and other synonymy words.

Most of all I have I like sleep, I NEED sleep, but I don't. As with all things, they come in phases. The one phase that is persistent and slowly creeps its way into everyone elses' shift and demands overtime pay is sleep.

So the solution seemingly is power naps, and one of my favourites is the above...

I like the deep tone although there is some white noise that comes in at points and depending on how alert you still are. It will scare the shit out of you.

I think they thought it would seem like a beach sound but really it is like a rustling of leaves right before Jason X stabs you.

Why I do still like it is because eventually, that sound is what keeps me from really going deep, not that anything will keep me from sleeping if I want to.

Being in a sleepy state for me is simply explained with: "I just don't care." You think alcohol makes people disregard wellbeing and be careless? Well, alcohol stole that from sleep, right before REM it came in and snatched grogginess and a fuck you attitude.

Sometimes I even listen to educational things which might help but really a person needs to practise them and if controlling how well I sleep is an issue, then dedicating to a new routine right off the bat is my second. Fortunately as with all things, like my hand me down clothes. I will grow into it.

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