I’m still in the process of learning to trust life. Trusting life doesn’t mean that life will only give you positive things. It means that there is some kind of meaning or purpose to everything that happens.
Audio version:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1Z2CkEqiZMOzqCob6vVaSE?si=-xrsYKVhRs6_-r47oMqzig
Video version:
Artists grind, Trust, Not fitting in society
https://youtube.com/live/HZDAv6IaZsM?feature=share
This is all that faith is, although it comes in many flavors. I know some people scoff at the idea of believing in something without evidence, but in my case, I have evidence.
The magic of existence is evidence enough for me to remain agnostic and open, who knows what truths we lack the means of proving definitely? And the kinds of synchronicities and confirming experiences I’ve had would leave most people in awe.
Life is truly awe-some, regardless of what it looks like.
For me trusting in life means believing in a cause and effect that is beyond the physical. The energy that I put out there is returned to me.
This differs from the popularized versions of the law of attraction because those tend to undermine the importance of the subconscious and other things attached to us which are not so easily willed away.
You can’t erase years of trauma with positive thoughts,and we still don’t understand the ideas of ancestral memories and past lives (adjacent lives). We have to dig to uncover what is there before out thoughts have a full impact, and we need to dig to understand our truest desires because we often do not.
So I dig. And I dig. And sometimes I discover things that help me figure out where to go and what to do. And I push myself to be more and more honest with myself and break all my previous expectations in order to be in full alignment in all aspects of my life.
One of the issues I have struggled with the most over the years is how to interface with society, how to create a positive feedback loop with my interactions with the world. In my mind that often means money, visa sponsorships and access to places and people, although sometimes I’m a bit off and I find some possibilities that I never imagined could exist. A free place to stay, a change in the laws, a platform like this that rewards me in a currency that didn’t exist a few years ago.
I’ve put a lot of effort into trying to make myself understandable to people and I’m starting to wonder if those efforts are counter productive. Maybe I was too worried about the fact that no one understood that I made decisions that cause people to understand even less.
I am getting tired of editing these podcasts and youtube videos. I find my joy in music and writing and in exploring and connecting with people and communities. The podcast was originally concieved merely a means to reach more people doing what I was already doing in a more public way but if it takes more effort than the work I am passionate about and it doesn’t pay off, whats the point?
I have two ideas. One is to open it up to various friends and make it a group project. The other is to go lo-fi until someone offers to edit and spice everything up with a visually artistic flavor that feels right to me.
I did a monologue podcast for youtube and spotify. The audio on youtube is a bit low, i was able to fix it for the audio only version on spotify. Take your pick:
And join us in Deep Shit discord to talk about deep shit and culture and all that! https://discord.gg/BzJXrcQ