LOH #114- My greatest sorrow of 2022 drown me in tears.

I am experiencing dark days and weak conditions that emotionally tortured my 2022, and it has been a labyrinth of sorrows. Although it might have healed a little, the scars in my heart will always be fresh.

My greatest sorrow of 2022 is the tragic death of my dearest sister.

I lost my sister and it is the hardest reality that I am facing now. Perhaps my greatest sorrow of 2022 is the immediate, tragic death of my sister @erikasue, due to a vehicular accident.

Although I was saved momentarily from the accident, it was harsh and painful that she was gone forever.

It was hard to breathe, and I felt like I was dying inside. It is genuinely so hard to get up and so difficult to help myself. I drown myself in an ocean of tears.

Not only great sorrow, but I experienced trauma when I witnessed how my sister had a severe traumatic brain injury, and a very damaged body, after being hit by a vehicle while she was standing in the safest corner to wait for the bus while we were together.

Even now, I felt waking up in a vicious nightmare. Perhaps it was like a vividly realistic nightmare that disturbed a wonderful life I once had.

It was a day of various stories reminding me about the aches, broken pieces, stitches, and wounds of yesterday that eventually came in a flash.

I admit it was so painful, and it feels like I have difficulty breathing from within. I was dying inside, and all I could do was soak and drown myself in a labyrinth of deep sorrows and pain.

I wish I were more ready for the loss of a loved one.

I wish I were more prepared to battle for life. For the blackout of life, for the storm surges with rattles of thunder, for the heaviness of the world, for the pain and despair I want to run off from, for the blink of time passing by swiftly like a breezy December, and for the labyrinth of sorrows.

Indeed, people were not joking about how time flies so fast. It does fly, but the memories of yesterday were so vividly clear. Somehow I am feeling healed but have not recovered totally.

I am feeling like a bot at present. I am a robot that does not know how to wake up with a good sound of sleep every single day.

I am lighting the candles and including her in my prayers every time.

I did not realize that getting up in the morning would be so hard without my sister at my side, as we were living in the same house before.

And what I keep on looking forward to is my cup of tea and the storms in my teacup. Sometimes, I even think about hopelessness despite thinking about the brighter side of life. I have lots of what-ifs.

What if the world stops spinning for a little while? And what if the stars break the rules and whisper what they wrote for me so I can finally figure out where to go and move forward?

However, when hope knocks at my door, a light illuminates my mind to hold on to the ropes of faith and hope and never let go. I accept that sometimes we must die a million times to appreciate the wonders of a beautiful life.

It may not be straightforward, but as I go along the way, many reasons are worth staying for, and nothing is worth giving up. I bear in mind that while life remains, I will be experiencing various issues in life. And sometimes, I only appreciate the essence of every simple happiness when I have experienced a feeling of deep sorrow.

Still, I want to be alive and live life to the fullest, even if I feel like being died a million times. Moving on is critical, so I can always appreciate the consequences of what has happened in the past.

I will wait for hope to whisper to me with the brightest smile.

I will walk by faith while holding on and believing that life is precious and not worth giving up, for it will always be the greatest gift that is so priceless while thinking that it is also essential to learn the art of breathing from the inside. So I just let myself live despite all sorrows and despair.

I cannot change yesterday's path, yet I can always move forward on a winding road wherein life is going with the flow in every twist and turn.

I used to believe that there is a rainbow always after the rain, but all of a sudden, I often think of a gloomy sky that has its colors back.

I am just silently hoping for that one day when I will wake up, open my eyes, and realize that everything has stopped hurting and breaking me into pieces.

2022 has broken me into pieces. It is a labyrinth of sorrows. I never thought the most significant tragedy would hit me so badly.

The world is still whirling as fast as it always does, but as of this moment, I can finally catch up, makeup, and make the best out of it.

This humble writing is my response to the emotionally provoking and exciting question asked by @thekittygirl. I love to invite @princessbusayo and @labanez to participate in the Ladies of Hive contest #114.

Disclaimer: All texts and pictures are my own unless otherwise stated.

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