A quality conversation has to do with the exchange of meaningful and engaging thoughts, ideas and feelings between individuals. It is very important in building a strong relationship. A relationship without quality conversation will start dying gradually . It is when there is communication, you will know what is actually wrong with the other person, what is going on, what the person thinks of you and what the person wants you to do. Just imagine you being in a relationship and the other person is always busy or tired to have a talk with you. You will even get bored and feel unloved. Communication plays a vital role in any relationship.
There was this time I was in a relationship with this person, at first he was kind, sweet and all good. You know when you are in a new relationship with someone, you talk almost all the time, you can't sleep without talking to the person and so on. As time goes on, it was as if we had nothing to talk about anymore. I will now start racking my brain and thinking of a topic to bring up. I realized that the quality of our conversation is really low. We do not really talk on things that matters, for example, if there will be any conversation at all, it will just be about him, how he needs to do something or another. One thing I have learnt over time is to be a good listener. I do not want to be like I am not understanding or I do not like his ideas so I just continue listening and listening. It was just like we don't understand each other. As we all know that we ladies like to be super sure about certain things, so whenever I try bringing up a serious talk, he goes like "i can't deal with that right now". I just got tired at first and wanted to quit but I had a second thought that, what if he just sees it as something normal. So I tried having a heart to heart conversation with him and started by pointing out the problems we're are facing. I expressed myself clearly, concisely, and respectfully and at the same time paying attention to his body language, words and tone of his voice. I shared my genuine thoughts and feelings. I also listen to his feedback, it was then i discovered that, it wasn't intentional, he just didn't see it as something important. In his own aspect, he was teachable and things changed. Instead of keeping things bottled up, we bring it to the table. We both tried all we could to improve the quality of our conversationin other to sustain the relationship. It is not the work of one party, it takes two to tango.
The elements I believe can enhance the quality of our interactions includes:
- Each party should listen actively to each other. Let the other party know your are ready to listen by giving relevant comments respectfully. Also note the gestures and body language
- Ensure to be very clear in your communication. Get to the root of the matter. It is not a communication if there is no feedback. Also listen to the person's view on the issue
- Try to see things from the other person's perspective. Put yourself in the other person's shoe. Be open minded.
- Avoid judgement and criticism. Don't blame.
- Ask relevant and thoughtful questions
- Avoid distractions. Be present and engaged.
Also, especially we ladies, we should know what we want and what we worth. You won't take communication seriously until, someone tells you that you are too intelligent for him to be with. A quality conversation will make you know your stand in a relationship.