I love the questions posed by @danigada18. On so many occasions I have had my feelings ridiculed or simply labelled as overly sensitive. Which is why as I grew out of one phase of my life, I made sure to cut off those people because I got to understand what “true” standards are and how much they can affect you in real life.
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The question I would be answering is the first and I would love to point out that I am still a young adult growing gradually in this big world of solid confusions.
Dealing with emotions (no matter how tiny) is a must. I personally believe that our emotions - and our response to them - is what makes our person. That is why we are all so unique. Different and yet the same.
As a young girl who has made countless mistakes and continues to make them (but learns every time), I can say that every little thing we feel counts. I don’t know how to explicitly express myself sometimes and that was always the beginning of my communication problems.
There would be words on my tongue but I would refrain from saying them for so many reasons.
Dealing with difficult times is like an “everyday thing” now. In fact, when the days go by too well, I am silently prepared for the storm that comes immediately after.
Well, not all the time. There are days that it just hits me and it mostly starts from within. That is what I am usually not prepared for - my own mind attacking itself.
This usually happens during my ovulation period. I have taken time to study the patterns of my body and realised that those excessive changes and feelings can be explained.
Thank God for Google. I came across something that was the name for what happens to me during this time.
I have to point out that my difficulties in my environment is far lesser than what I would experience in my “invironment”. I can face whatever is happening around me if I am okay mentally. Which is why I prioritise my mental health.
Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD).
Screenshot from Google
I first started noticing in 2019 but it was not as strong as it is now. When I finally read about it in 2020, I felt I was being dramatic and just looking for excuses to justify my actions (because that was what I was told).
“Things like this don’t happen in Nigeria” was what I was told.
I believed it and would silently deal with it whenever it happened. Until, I met people who actually cared for me and made me realise that I am not just Nigerian, but I am human and very woman too.
Screenshot from Google
Now that I had a name for my excessive thoughts, I tracked the pattern and sure enough, it was always during my pre-menstrual phase.
I went on to read about what I could do to improve and curb these symptoms, not much help from Google as all were expertly given. I had to find something that worked for me.
Very cliche as it may sound, all I do during these difficult times (as they still happen) are:
- Sleep
- Listen to music
- Read
- Talk to myself
The first three are self-explanatory but the last one.
It has minimised since 2023 but I could talk to myself for the whole day.
I would listen to me and try to offer up solutions. I would be Deraa and Divine. Two different people. One would complain and the other would respond. Most times, the responses I get (from myself) are in no way comforting. They are more of a reflection which always hurts.
Screenshot from Google
In the beginning of the end of 2023, I would have conversations about progress with myself, future plans and all while laughing and acting like I’m talking to a real person (which I was).
I am not crazy. I just find comfort in it. And it has helped me a lot. I would be able to talk to myself first, figure out my emotions, identify them before coming out openly to deal with whatever the situation is head-on.
It is really beautiful to me. This goes to prove that “we are our own best friends”. I don’t know if it happens with a lot of people but I do know it happens with others.
That is how I deal with difficult times. The only difficulty I ever truly face is from within. It affects my whole life. And I am so thankful that I was able to at least find the source. Which is why I don’t make fun of even the littlest form of emotion from anyone. I take it all seriously. And anyone who makes fun of mine, would never be seen within a 5 mile radius of where I am.
All human emotions are validated. We are allowed to feel. The thought that you shouldn’t feel because of your nationality, religion, etc, is pure nonsense.
Thank you so much @thekittygirl for bringing these questions to life.