Here I am, in my fuzzy pajamas, under my duvet, as the rest of my family gets ready for their weekend plans and I stare blankly at my pc, aching for inspiration to write here or create music. We've had such a whirlwind of wonderful events lately, but it seems (even though I like to lie to myself) even I have my limits.
Unfortunately for me, this weekend, and at least for the next week, singing is out of the question for me. I managed to catch some highbred cooties from our three children combined, and I have been confined to bed since Wednesday.
Normally I relish the idea of some extra nap time, but it's really got to the point where I'm feeling pretty dark.
Tonight was supposed to be the Return to Salt and Sage Gig and although @JasperDick is going to perform for both of us and @ZakLudick will be popping in to support him, I can't help this feeling of sheer FOMO and disappointment.
Usually, and I literally did this at our last gig at The Barleycorn, I can lie to my body with tequila or Jagermeister, and that will at least get me through an evening of singing, but this bug, is something else all together.
The combination of performances, braais, ridiculous baking, work stress and motherhood made me a perfect target for an opportunistic virus.
The last surviving slice of my GLORIOUS cheesecake.... that I could not even taste ðŸ˜
I know it happens to everyone, but I've never had to cancel a gig. Normally I'd need to be bleeding through the eyeballs to cancel, but this flu has got me down so bad it feels like there's a very angry little Italian gnome living in my throat, grating it like a block of parmesan. It's not Covid, but it's definitely the worst flu I have had in a very very VERY long time. In fact, I don't recall ever being this ill.
I've been self-medicating since Sunday after @ZakLudick's glorious birthday, and I've been off work since Tuesday afternoon. I eventually gave up and went to the doctor, most begrudgingly, but I am glad I did. Even if it cost a small fortune. I am now, at least, on a course of 2 different antibiotics and a course of prednisone to stop the coughing fits and it does feel like the elephant that had been sitting on my chest has found somewhere else to rest it's butt.
It's good to be able to breathe again, but recovery certainly isn't going to happen overnight. I am currently unable to even speak properly, which means that the one thing that offers me reprieve from 99% of my mental health issues is out of my reach.
I can't sing.
I know it's only temporary, but it's utterly horrible.
I do have hugs and tea and love and food being delivered to me regularly, but I havent even been able to make it downstairs for meals. Bless you @ZakLudick for putting up with my grumpy ass and bringing me delicious treats in bed.
I do have future gigs to look forward to and a number of really exciting collaborations being released in the next few weeks, and believe me, I am hanging onto them for dear life. I must remind myself that this too, shall pass....
There will be more gigs
I will sing again
but for now, at least, I am going to wallow in my pit of purple blanket, disappear and watch another season of "Outlander."
Please feel free to send me hugs. <3