How many unsubtle hints do I need to leave that thick-skulled man of mine, I thought to myself today. It wasn't a rhetorical self-question, I actually sought an answer.
I tried to contemplate the question however couldn't seem to concentrate...until I had a pot of tea in front of me and a pastry from the French patisserie I'd promised him I'd never go to without him; what he doesn't know won't hurt him though right? I settled down to ponder the question...Hmm...I settled down to sip tea and nibble my French cake first, then began to ponder the big question.
I like being soft, I mean all over, and that boy of mine likes it too...me being soft. My go-to product is a body lotion by Jurlique, a lovely rose scented body lotion that does the job nicely. I have some of their other products also and use them sparingly, kind of, because they're not generally cheap. My problem is that I'm running out.
With Christmas coming up, I thought it might be in my best interest to place a few unsubtle hints for the man, you know, just to subliminally imprint upon his brain a deep-seated need to buy me a Jurlique goody-basket for under the tree.
I started last week and my campaign ensues, however I'm not sure how many hints is enough.
I began with the age-old, doesn't this lotion smell so nice, comment. He knows I love it so would never dare say no. Besides, it does smell so lovely.
The next day I called out from my bath, hey handsome, can you bring my Jurlique softening body lotion? I left it on the bedside table. He didn't need to know I'd left it there purposely just so I could call out to him. Like the dutiful man he is, he brought it in. Of course, I didn't mind the not-so-subtle peek he took at me in the bath at the same time - I'd be worried if it didn't happen. I laid back playing with the bubbles wondering if my plan was working and silently celebrating my deviousness in using the full name of the product.
Hey babes, would you mind rubbing this Jurlique lotion into my back for me? This was two days later and, of course, he didn't mind at all.
The next day I took stock of my plan and wondered how it might be going. The problem was, I wouldn't know if it actually worked until Christmas day. I decided I needed to be less subtle.
That night I finished my bath, dried off and walked into the bedroom; he was lying in bed reading. He looked up of course - I was naked - he always looks up. Anyway, I went to get into bed then stopped and, with what I thought was amazingly good acting, announced, oh no, I haven't moisturised. Of course, I hadn't done so on purpose.
I went and got the pump container, came back into the bedroom and stood there applying the body lotion, all over me. This might sound extremely unsubtle, but wait, there's more.
I continued to rub it in, all over, and when I went to pump some more out of the container did some more magnificent acting by frowning and pouting at the same time, an amazing feat in itself, then exclaiming, oh no, I'm almost out of my Jurlique softening body lotion! Please note the use of the entire product name once again, I need to make sure he buys the right one!
I believe that was the master-stroke and the message has penetrated through his thick manly skull but...I still have some doubt though, hence the, how many unsubtle hints question, I pondered over tea and French pastries. (Pastry...I only had one.)
I ended up deciding that a few more unsubtle hints can't hurt; a girl has to be certain the boy has it straight, right? I'm going to do the oops, I forgot to moisturise, strategy again a couple times in the next week and may even try the, oops I can't find my Jurlique softening body lotion can you help me, strategy and surely then the message would have sunk in.
Becca 💗