However, being in the game and the mini-fame that it offered, went to his head. As he got more and more popular, Timothy started becoming cruel to many other students. Those of us who weren't in his elite social circle, were looked on as lesser humans, unworthy of his respect and I was one of them.
For some reason, Tim hated anyone who was well read. Later on I would find out why, but at the time it totally mystified me. Here was a guy who was barely making it in classes and in danger of flunking. He'd lash out at anyone doing well academically and would often ask if he could cheat off of me in upcoming tests. I always refused and instead offered to help tutor him, since I'd done that at the local community center as a kid. But he only wanted the answers given to him and never wanted to learn so he could figure out the problems for himself.
I don't have to tell you the peril that put me in. Like that scene out of Mommie Dearest where the mother says she will always be bigger and faster than the daughter, he would throw his weight around on campus. It was a marvel to watch him and his entourage walking to school. He'd make a point of bumping into smaller students so hard, he'd often send them tumbling to the ground. His fans hung onto his every word and I could only imagine being so well liked. Everyone wanted to be around him and he was a fast walker who'd always remind me that he was bigger, faster and more popular than I’d ever be.
Until he wasn't.
The change was gradual, but noticeable. I'd usually cross the street to get away from him, so he could swiftly pass by hopefully without noticing me. If I saw him a few blocks ahead of me, I’d duck down a side street until he was gone. But a strange thing happened, It seemed Tim was no longer breezing past me and could it be? it looked like his entourage was getting smaller and smaller. I watched this odd development over a number of weeks. Seeing his friends falling away one by one and his gait getting slower and slower until even I could easily pass him.
Something was wrong.
This massive, healthy-looking kid also began to lose weight. Slowly at first, like a giant ship listing in the water, until it became obvious it was going to sink. This cruel, cocky kid was now suddenly silent, no longer throwing wicked barbs at the lesser students around him. And one day, his followers were completely gone and he was walking all alone. That's when he approached me...
I heard his voice first, from behind, fainter than usual. Turning, I looked back at the monster who'd terrorized me and many others, actually calling out my name. Horrified and with my pulse racing, I went to cross the street to get away from him, when he assured me he meant no harm. This time I saw him walking with a cane. I thought maybe he'd injured his leg or something as he begged me to stop and hear him out. Something inside me told me to give him that space and that's when he told me he'd been diagnosed with cancer.
I don't remember what kind it was, but I do know it affected his walking and breathing. When he caught up to me, he leaned heavily on my shoulder, while stopping to catch his breath. Here was a guy who caused me so much pain, but was now suffering himself. He explained that the doctors said he had a 50/50 chance of beating it and that he was terrified of what could happen. His friends were now afraid to be around him as they thought they might get it from him. Due to my voracious reading, I knew that wasn't true,, but the most amazing part was that he apologized for all of things he'd done to me.
A wave of compassion came over me as we walked to school together. Timothy had to stop every couple of blocks in order to catch his breath. Once we reached the high school, the crowd parted as if he were some sort of walking infection. The fair-weather-friends who'd been so eager to be seen with him in the past, now wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. In their minds he was tainted and no longer wore the halo of fame that they'd formerly affixed to his head.
But every day, I'd meet him a few blocks from my house to head to classes. We'd get together much earlier than normal because the trip was taking longer and longer. My thoughts at that time turned to his soul and we had long conversations about religion and what might await us after death. However, I always tried to create a positive environment for him whenever I was around him.
People thought I was nuts. How could I be friends with a guy who'd tortured me so much? But I knew it was the right thing to do. Would God have me abandon this person in his time of need? What better way is it to live your life as an example than turning a former enemy into a friend?
The walks continued.
Until they didn't...
One day, I was waiting at our regular meeting spot wondering where Timothy was. It was getting late even for him, when a neighbor informed me he had taken ill. He was in the hospital and I went to visit. His cancer had spread throughout his body. He said that I was the only one from the school who'd bothered to show up and he was so happy to see me. He still felt guilty for how he'd treated me, but I told him that it was all in the past and he needed to focus on getting better. In times like these, you have to let go of the pain from whatever went before. Even though he had lost a lot of weight, what struck me was the huge smile that greeted me whenever I made a visit. Turns out he had a big heart after all and it was on display every time I saw him.
One day I got a call at home, with my mother telling me to quickly answer the phone. It was Tim's mom. Turns out he'd gotten a visit from the doctors and instead of going home as expected, they told his family that he needed to "get his affairs in order." They had to explain to him what this meant and at that point, he physically attacked them and had to be restrained. He then asked for me.
I was dropped off at the hospital and a sense of relief came over him, you could see it in his face. It was an emotional moment where i reminded him of our conversations about the afterlife. I don't know why, but he felt a sense of comfort when I was there and I'm so glad I was able to provide that to him. Two months later, Timothy Martin died, he was only sixteen.
Looking back, my thoughts of why he felt such relief about our friendship may have been that he saw me as a sign that he'd not been forgotten. I've never thought of myself as anything special and was surprised that what I consider to be common decency was seen as something unusual. Since I always had a reputation as a good person, it's possible I was an avatar for all of the people that he'd hurt and mending things with me, took on much more significance for him. I like to say that while Timothy may have begun his last years sowing discord, he ended his existence well, having made amends with as many people as he could. While we no longer have our walks together, I like to picture him now continuing his walk with someone much greater than I.