Psychology of people pleasing

Most people don't know how to say no even if what they are agreeing to is at their detriment. They always feel the need to belong,wanting to be accepted by others at all cost. So they device an attitude of saying yes to everything. Then loosing a part of themselves just to fit in.

I viewed a friend's status on WhatsApp last night and it said one of the reasons of not being successful is "trying to please everyone". I thought about it,and it's absolutely true.
What if the people your trying to be like aren't really going in the same direction as you?
What if you don't have the same mindset as them?
What if you have set your goals and ambitions so high they start seeing you as a crazy person.
And because of that you limit yourself to their thinking now doubting yourself and thinking very little about yourself cause they said so.

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Image source:pixabay

At this stage you become harmful to yourself,deep down you know you don't want that but the need to be accepted by others now overwhelm you. You start doing what they ask of you,what they want you to do.
Forgetting completely about your own interests,about your likes.

The thoughts that comes to your mind if you don't please everyone might be:
*They will hate me
*What if they don't talk to me?
*What if they don't accept me?
*Will I look bad?

Sometimes we have to agree with people just to end an unnecessary argument. But you don't have to always try to be the bigger person, because you try too hard to please everyone you feel you are being the bigger person. No, your not being the bigger person your just being a footmat. Most times people catch up on our behavior and when they notice you are a people pleaser, they start asking you to do things you don't want to cause they know you will always agree.

People pleaser often deals with low-self esteem and draw their self worth from the approval of others. The lack of self confidence sometimes make one a people pleaser you may believe people only care about you when you are useful to them and need their appreciation in order to feel good about yourself.

But that should not be the case people that genuinely care for you and love you will never allow you do things that will cost you your happiness. They will always be considerate of your choices and interests. Trying to please everyone will make you loose sight of your goals because your thinking is based solely on what other will say, what they think is right. Trying to please everyone is a recipe for misery, be yourself and know who is down for you.

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It's time for you to be yourself,know yourself worth,do things that makes you happy. Things that's makes you you. You don't necessarily need to follow the mass, think out of the box. Be exceptional.

You should set your boundaries,also have confidence in yourself.stop being a people pleaser.

The only person you should go out of your way to please is you

And you should know that people that really like you will not step on you,they will support your goals and always be by you. Search for people that have goals rather than trying to fit in just cause the society says it's right.

Saw a quote, but I don't know the author. It says "I can't tell you to the key to success but I know the key to failure is people pleasing"

So if you feel the need to succeed, you need to start doing what's best for you and your future.

Thank you for reading.
Love you all♥️

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