My review of the first draft of the Hive Feature Film

My review of the first draft of the Hive Feature Film blog thumbnail.png

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It's been a minute since I was given the privilege of being in the small group of people able to take a peek at the work-in-progress feature film script about the origin of of the Hive blockchain. Others have already shared their thoughts in a much more timely fashion, like @shadowspub's Let's Review the Hive Feature Film First Draft and @basilmarples' Hive feature film 1st draft review. While I jotted down bunches of notes during my first read (yes, like old school pen to paper kind of notes), lots of things on and offline got in the way of my fun, so it's taken me until now to get my scribbles on my screen.

But before I get to my absolutely-no-spoilers review (and not just because I'm spoiler-phobic, it's because I also signed an NDA ๐Ÿ˜„), I figured I'd give you a little background on myself, and why I thought I could help this project. Which, lucky for me, @thedeltron and @killerwot agreed and let me into the cool kids club!

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My writerly self

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I've wanted to be a writer since I was little (as well as a ballerina, and a doctor, and an actress, and a...). Like for example, I entered my first poetry contest when I was six. Okay, technically my mother entered it for me, and we were given something like two or three lines to start and only had to come up with a couple more, but even still, I got an honorable mention in our local newspaper and I was hooked.

Since that time, and a million notebooks filled with scribbles later, I've written seven or eight first drafts of novels for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), and edited the first one enough to upload it to the (sadly now defunct) Harper Collins website called Authonomy, which was kind of an author's version of American Idol.

The basic premise of the site was - an author would upload at least a few chapters from their books, and other authors would read, comment, and possibly "star" the writing. Each month, the ten books with the most stars would earn a review from an actual Harper Collins editor (with the dangling carrot of possibly being offered a contract to boot).

It became the thing on the site to offer more than just a, "nice book" kind of comment - there was an awesome workshop environment there for a while, with many of us acting like beta readers for each other. We would write long, constructive reviews for comments and got them back in kind. In fact, some of the best pieces of writing advice I received were from other writers and not the editor who read my chapters (oh, did I forget to mention I managed to score a review? Yeah, no contract for me. ๐Ÿ˜‚).

When the site shut down, a large group of us kept in touch through FB and email chains, still exchanging the occasional beta read here and there. I found in many ways, I preferred to read and offer commentary on someone else's work to rereading and editing my own.

I've also run a couple of local writing groups over the past decade or two. The first one I put together was much like the Authonomy community in that we did lots of writing prompts, and would critique them for each other. We eventually ended up doing Open Mic events at the library where we met, and even did an event with a local museum. Oh, and a few of us (myself included) were interviewed about it for community access TV - talk about the big time! ๐Ÿ˜‚

We ended up moving across the state from my first group, and the hour long commute wasn't feasible, so I had to leave it in the very capable hands of a couple of the longtime members. My second group, some years later, was under the umbrella of the New Hampshire Writers' Project which (according to their Twitter bio), "Founded in 1988, the New Hampshire Writers' Project brings together writers, readers, editors, agents, and publishers of all genres."

At the time, there were only seven or eight regular "Writersโ€™ Night Out" meetings across the state each month, and I was given the opportunity to host one in my area. We had a good run for a few years, but when my Essential Tremor made it so I couldn't drive myself to the meetings anymore, the group disbanded.

Now that I've waxed loquaciously about myself, I suppose I should get to the matter at hand!

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My review of the film script so far

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The beginning of the script does a good job of introducing the cast of characters (and what characters they are!). Hivers will easily recognize most, even with different names, and non Hivers will be able to appreciate the establishment of their roles in the coming events. The fictional/composite characters might give Hivers pause as they try to break down exactly who they are, but I think it's pretty easy to recognize they've been created to help streamline this incredibly complex tale.

However, I do foresee a potential editing out/restructuring some of the scenes at the start. I think there are bits that worked very well as a sort of character writing exercise, that helped the writer get a firm grasp on the essence of each person and establish their role in the story, but with so much to unpack, I think some of it is sadly destined for the proverbial cutting room floor. Or maybe a companion book, "Further Tales from the Hive Movie"? ๐Ÿ˜Š

There's a goodly dose of humor sprinkled throughout as well, which is almost a requirement for something so inherently dry as tech speak and blockchain workings. There are some subtle moments that Hivers will recognize and enjoy, but won't make the average viewer feel like they're being left out of the joke.

One of the biggest challenges beyond finding a framework for the story & narrowing the cast of characters was the setting, and I think that's been met. The way in which we follow the characters journeys does a great job of grounding what happened online in reality. And in many ways, it gives the feeling of getting a real (albeit fictional) look behind the scenes of the meltdown that happened to our legacy chain and the amazing way our community pulled together to fork and save our blockchain home.

This script is well on its way to showing the world how a bunch of random crypto enthusiasts, gamers, and bloggers did a (mostly unprecedented at the time) thing and turned into one of the most amazingly passionate decentralized communities ever seen.

All in all, this was a much more solid piece of work than I expected from a partial first draft. The fact that I literally said out loud, "NO!" when I realized I was on the last page is a testament to how enjoyable it is already. Nicely done, guys!

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Stay tuned for a review of part two when it's out

Oh, and be sure to follow the @filmmaking4hive account for all the latest updates and news on the project. This is going to be so much fun!

EDITED TO ADD: It's been so long since I've done something other than a Power Up Day post, that it didn't even occur to me that my Web2 blogging friends might be interested in this as well. So I've now posted this on my WordPress blog.

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Image Credits: blog thumbnail created on Canva.
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