I bet you thought I was finished with my 2020 reflections didn't you? Well, perhaps not quite just yet. Forgive me but my blogging muse was silent for quite some time now, so I'm just feeding her again for a bit lest she disappear on me. Though I would like to focus once more on what is to come, not so much on what has past. Like all of you, this year has certainly changed me, so I can't totally wipe the slate clean. Nor do I think I really want to.
I was tagged a few times (thanks @riverflows and @nickyhavey) to jump in on the "Letter to Myself in 2019" initiative, which I believe was started by @livinguktaiwan. When I first saw it, I really wasn't in the right frame of mind to even contemplate what I would tell myself a year ago knowing what I know now. After seeing Nicky's post today I don't feel quite so out of sorts, but think I still have no clue what I would tell myself. Honestly, I probably wouldn't listen anyway. Some things you just have to live through to really learn the lessons. Even if it is the hard way.
Despite the struggles, I really can't complain too much about the year coming to a close. My business thrived as more people took stock of their health and workout routines. I was forced to switch gears and do a lot of things online, which I had always thought about but never took the step. I still don't love Zooming workouts, but thank goodness we have the technology we have today otherwise this year would have been a lot different for me. I also said goodbye to quite a few things and people, which was a good thing--more in the way of releasing certain things that weren't serving me.
I think that was really one of the greatest lessons of the year for me. Give space to the things that truly bring me joy. All the rest doesn't matter, especially when the world seems to be falling down around you. It is quite freeing ultimately, even if it is a challenge to come to the decision to move on.
Which made me think of @senorcoconut's challenge to meditate on our theme or word for 2021. That prompt resonated with me more as I have already been looking ahead (planting the seeds if you read my post from a few days ago). Still a challenge to hone in on one word that didn't seem too hokey or cliché, but really one of the themes that came to mind is one of nonjudgment, so who cares if my word fits MY frame of mind at this moment in time.
Ultimately the word that keeps popping up in my head is FREE. Is it cheating that @riverflows picked FREEDOM? I don't think so, we can both be some free chicks floating on down this river of life together.
- FREE from fear and worry, which was far to prevalent this past year.
- FREE to make plans and set goals even when things are still uncertain.
- FREE to say no to relationships, projects or anything else that doesn't serve my goals and intentions.
- FREE also to say yes just as easily.
- FREE to pursue passions.
- FREE to research and learn, not just take things as they are presented to me.
- FREE to care.
I'm sure just about everyone wants similar things. Well, at least I would hope so. I think this past year I often got so caught up in just surviving that I forgot what it was like to really thrive at times. I know this year ahead will still bring many challenges and changes, and I hope I am better prepared after the year now behind us. I think perhaps I am particularly reflective this year as I am also entering into my final year of this decade of life. I don't fear growing older by any means, but there is something to stepping back and assessing my needs as I begin to enter different seasons of life.
If you made it this far, thank you for sticking with me. This one was one that I just let fall out of my brain without much worry about form or function. A bit of a FREE write, if you will. And yes, I also want to FREE myself from the idea that I always have to post something within a certain niche or to stay "on brand". The walls we build around ourselves are sometimes the most constraining...
With that, it's time to turn off the computer and spend a few hours in repose before I jump in the kitchen to make @dksart and I our final meal of the year--tacos! Wishing you and yours a quiet last hoorah of 2020. Happy New Year!
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