To be honest, like hear me out first.
You are not going to believe the wild ride my innocent childhood imagination and soul took me on! Yeah sometimes when I think back on this particular one i get ashamed of myself. Or maybe when my parents remind me of it.
So, straight to the story.
Way back, like really way back when I was this tiny tot, I was naive and blissfully unaware of the intricacies of life. I always hear this igbo proverb or saying "Nne na nna zuo nwa Nwa a zuo há". Meaning? If the parents train the kids today, tomorrow the kids will in turn train the parents. I know my dad was always saying that, and Yeah, I took that way too literally.
Now, being the little philosopher-in-the-making I was , I started concocting this grand procreation plan in my head. Since I've always asked my parents how kids come about and the just don't give me a definite answer other than "anyị mụrụ gị" meaning 'we gave birth to you'. So I was convinced that since my parents are training me now that at some mystical point in the future, my parents would hit reverse age mode, and voilà, they'd be my kids and I'll train them too. 😂
Total mind-bender, right?
Yeah, I know. 😂
That's not even the icing on the cake. Here's where it gets a little naughty. Still as a kid, my love for food was basically unrivalled. Mehn, nobody at home then can compete with my portion of food that always leaves my belly protruding like a nine months old woman's own.
To be honest with y'all, if there was an Olympic event for eating, I'd have been the undisputed champion of the world. So, any time I felt this little pang of hunger, I'd be at the kitchen door crying, wailing, sometimes a little drama too, all to the soundtrack of the waging war in my tummy.
Even if my mom had a full-on culinary spectacle happening in the kitchen, I'd still keep up the drama. Sometimes more, because I'll go with words like
"When you and Dad become my kids in the future," I'd dramatically and boldly declare, "I'll make you both wait just like you're making me wait now!" And then the tears will come again 😂.
Mind you I was a kid that couldn't even wear his pants by himself yet.
Sometimes my poor parents would laugh at my tantrums and all. That would really worsen my plight at that moment ,because I felt like they were really enjoying it.
Looking back now, all I do is burst into laughter at the sheer audacity of my little innocent self. My mum would say today that back then I was like this mini-dictator that's driven by hunger threatening my future children (parents) with food payback (whatever that means).
Well now, did my parents turn into my kids? 😂 I'll leave y'all to answer that. !