Walking down to my house from visiting my tailor whom I had a prior appointment with, I was not ready for anything rowdy. I simply wanted to walk home, cook dinner and rest but Mr Emeka would not allow that. I was two houses away from my own compound when I overheard him conversing loudly on the phone. I would have walked away and ignored whatever he was doing but a statement he made halted my steps.
He said, "Nna forget that thing o, all women are the same jare" (nigeian pidgin)
I couldn't be more upset but for the love of peace, I decided to pause a while and hear him out. Why did he generalize my gender like that, I thought as I listened in on his conversation without shame.
"So you mean that Nkechi your wife squandered the one hundred and fifty thousand naira you sent to her for up keep on lace and hand bag?" "Chai this woman is wicked o" he continued over the phone.
From the little I overheard, I pieced the dots together and finally understood why he made that generalizing statement about the female folk and I should add that I was unhappy about it because it is women like this that brings a smear on the female gender. For the record, not all women are like that or behaves that way.
I make this bold claim because there is no way I would put my wants above that of my family needs especially when I know that they cannot fend for themselves. If I have been entrusted with a task, I make sure to carry it out and not get slided to do otherwise. Using family upkeep money to buy clothes, jewelry and fashion bags is the highest form of irresponsibility. Even if money grows on trees, courtesy demands that the trees be respected so that it can produce more cash.
Most women are not even trusted by their partners when it comes to finances and this has also created another stereotype of all women like money. I see money as a necessary tool and I am diligent enough to make my own money. What I won't ever do is to compromise my standards and beliefs because of money.
I asked a guy jokingly why he was not yet married and his short answer was that he didn't have enough money, so he intends to keep working until he accummultes enough money for marriage. I looked at him like he had grown horns on his head and laughed at him in Spanish 😂😂, because his dream might never materialize.
Let me talk to guys for a minute..
Not all females are the same.
Not all females are betrayers and cheaters.
Not all females are promiscuous and loose.
Not all females are money mongers.
Not all women are vain.
There are plenty of women who were brought up right, with good values and moral standards. Women who are not just home makers but are home builders. Women who understand the power they carry and use it wisely. Women who are strong, beautiful, dependable, loyal, faithful and loving. Women who can be mothers, sisters, friends, lovers and playmates. I know because I am one of such women in society.
Raising my kids
Children represent our future and it is whatever we instill in them that they grow up manifesting. I have a daughter who is in her teen years and I wouldn't want her to be categorized in that irking phrase of all women are like that. With this in mind, I have and will still continue to train her with good values and standards, teaching her to know her worth and how to stand up for herself no matter where she finds herself.
Let's not forget the home making skills that I am passing on to her already. Even when I have sons, they would not be exempted from learning home making skills too because I don't want their future wives to suffer at their hands.
I believe that if we raise our children in the right way, training them to be better versions of "us" and not just to merely be like us, the world might become better. Men should teach their sons how to respect women and their dignity. Teach them that physically abusing a woman makes them lesser men. Women also teach girls how to be respectful and responsible, how to treat others with care and courtesy and I believe with this the generalization would minimize.
Thank you all for reading. This is my entry to the #thinker's corner July edition as posed by @kenechukwu97. I want @luchyl and @ozd to join in.
Images are mine.