I’m one of many people who spend a lot of time alone. Alone in the sense that there aren’t other people physically in my space. I consider when I socialize or chat with people virtually as being in the company of others.
Solitude
Most of the time the arrangement works well for me. I can be in my own company, my own space yet still have contact if I choose to. In many ways, the virtual aspect of contact with others gives me a greater level of control over my time.
The arrangement is solitude. It’s being alone but comfortable in doing so. There is a very small group of people in my life that it’s important to me to have regular contact. An even smaller number it’s important for me to touch base with daily, when possible, even if only for a few minutes.
I’m often left bemused when people confuse the difference between solitude and loneliness. It usually shows itself with an all too common, and somewhat condescending comment which goes something like, “Oh, I’m sorry, you must be so lonely”.
At one time comments like that would make me angry at the display of ignorance. Eventually I realized it was their own lack of understanding.
Loneliness
People who are alone and find no comfort in their solitude, are experiencing loneliness. For some, it’s a temporary situation. They soon connect wtih others and relieve the loneliness.
For others it can becomes a serious mental health issue. They deeply feel the sense of being disconnected from others and from life in general. The isolation can have a physical cause like an illness or disability. Some may have lost a partner through death and breakup and are still grieve the loss.
Others may be struggling with mental health issues. They are aware of the sense of loneliness and isolation. They often feel a sense of rejection or a lack of worthiness to be with others. Those are issues which need to be worked through. Sometimes with the help of a professional.
Let’s Meet People Where They Are
We can be kind, respectful and empathetic with a person struggling with loneliness.
Let’s not confuse the difference between solitude and loneliness.
Let’s also learn which place a person is in and respect where they are.
In a society where the emphasis is on couples, many are left unsure how to view a single person. Oddly enough, there are many people who are part of a couple and also struggle with loneliness. Being in the company of another is not always an absence of being lonely.
Let’s just meet people where they are. Let them reveal what they want of themself without making assumptions based on our worldview instead of theirs.
Shadowspub is a writer from Ontario, Canada. She writes on a variety of subjects as she pursues her passion for learning. She also writes on other platforms and enjoys creating books you use like journals, notebooks, coloring books etc.
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