I've always been the man with a plan, even though sometimes it may not look like it.
Sometimes, my face says that I'm the most clueless man in the room, blank, expressionless features are what they see, but whatever the gig or task may be, I always have a plan. I just don't share it, because it may just come across as an unreasonable technique, radical in some ways.
Yes, sometimes this "plan" does not workout, in the short run at least, but if applied long-term, then it does workout 90% of the time. It's all been full proof so far.
Alas, people still doubt my methods.
I guess my antics don't suit the common man, it's usually burly and isn't sugar coated. Which is a bit too much for them to "stomach", their narrow intestines and weak digestive systems can't make sense of it.
I like to take it slow, and some people don't like that idea, they want things fast, ASAP. They all want long-term - exponential results, from their shiftless efforts and their very limited, short-term thinking.
How cute! If only things worked that way. Sigh...
Yet, no matter how hard I try, the plans I lay out, someone, or something, always has to come and interfere.
And sadly, I still hold onto that "people pleaser" mentality, that is why a bit of interference turns into an order most of the time. I feel like I owe people something, even though I really don't. I still keep putting other people's opinions and suggestions before mine.
So, soon enough all these suggestions, requests and all, they end up toppling my proposition and confidence in my own methods. Again and again, I keep on losing faith in the process.
I take directions from those who barely have their "own thing" figured out, I go and implement these "suggestions" and ideas, which then ushers to a lot F*CK UPs. Thus, leading to the demise of my ambition.
Sometimes I really wanna go far away, for a few years at least, then try and focus on myself, my plans and future. It may all sound selfish, and I say it is, but it's also quite necessary to be selfish at a certain stage in life. And I believe that I'm currently in that stage right now, and my mind keeps telling me that my time is short.
I believe sometimes in order to stay focused, you must dissociate, disconnect, from the past and a draining present environment. With blinders on the side and a clear mind, you maintain your confidence in your own plans and methods. You simply aren't distracted as often.
Distractions lead to looser grip, which steers you away from your goals.
You can't keep switching from one side to the other, again and again, from this track to another.
It's a recipe for disaster.
What people have to say really shouldn't matter all the time. If you know that you're capable of taking control and are mentally stable, then you should believe in yourself and stick to your own path. Just because 5 other people are suggesting and walking on a different path, doesn't mean they're right.
You have your own qualities, your own dreams, likes, and dislikes, so if you have to set out on a completely new and different path, then you should stick to it. Be adamant with your decision and have faith in the process, even if everyone's against you.
Be the black sheep if needed...
"After all, the wool of a black sheep is just as warm" - Ernest Lehman
