So... running a BnB has brought me much joy as I love meeting people.
Us humans are an interesting bunch aren't we, but some of us can, at times, be VERY annoying as well.
Others are really funny, so I'm going to share a couple of my guest interactions with you; sure to give you a chuckle or two 😉
I've at times been bombarded with some strange requests, but have mostly met the nicest people.
Some book with us to do humanitarian work in the area, full of empathy for their fellow humans. Others come for sporting events, performers, business people, conferences, visiting family for happy and sad occasions, students and corporate guests attending training. We've even had a high court judge here; so we get to meet people from all walks of life.
One of the most interesting periods was when undercover priority crime investigators set up a remote office here for a lengthy period; more I will not say!
Cockroach phobia
The weirdest question was asked recently by a guest inquiring about our accommodation...
- Are you pet-friendly? Not an odd request, so I explained that we can have a small doggie guest in our cottage but not in our small unit which she wanted to book.
- She was not perturbed but her next question had me in fits of laughter, I could not stop myself!
"Do you have Cockroaches?" Well, I burst out laughing like a lunatic, but the lady was dead serious, quite puzzled at my crazy laughter as she wanted an answer!
Did she perhaps think we keep THEM as pets?
So I composed myself and in as polite a manner as I could as it actually wasn't funny; rather very offensive; told her that we have pest control services done annually, a requirement for being registered, and No, we definitely do not have roaches running around amongst the guests. Can you just imagine the mayhem?
She then continued to tell me in detail how she had to check out of a previous establishment because of cockroaches and other creepy-crawly things!
I ended up reassuring her that we do not allow cockroach guests in our BnB, but by this time, I'd totally had enough of this potential guest!
I mean, what if...just what if, one lonely cockroach from the public drains gets lost and finds its way to her room!
Can you imagine the repercussions!
So...I conveniently "forgot" to send this lady with a cockroach phobia a quotation!
Bathroom Obsession
It really wasn't my day, as the next inquiry was someone with a bathroom obsession.
It initially started with questions about the size of the refrigerator, understandably, as she'll be putting together the wedding cake for a family wedding; but then it got to the bathroom interrogation.
Could I send pics of the shower, the bath, the washbasin, and even the loo as her kids are very fussy!
I thought ok, here goes another one I'll conveniently forget about, but I obliged and sent photos that had me standing at all angles. She called back saying her kids are more than happy with the bathroom arrangement and she would like to make a reservation.
The bathroom had better be on its best behavior when they come, or else I may just be in trouble!
Perhaps they wanted to go fishing in the loo?
Escaping Pesky Family
Then we had a very nice elderly lady checking in; her grandson had booked her a room for a long weekend. After he dropped her off, she had this naughty glint in her eyes and asked me if I knew where she's from. I had not checked the register, so she told me she lives in a neighbouring suburb and that her pesky family visits her annually because she lives close to the beach. They mess up her house, bringing beach sand in, expecting her to cook for them and do their washing; without so much as lifting a finger.
So this year she derived a plan with the help of her favourite grandson and told them she's off to a church conference so they unfortunately could not visit this time.
She had a peaceful weekend, her grandson fetched her every day for lunch and the rest of the time, she just relaxed and sat there smiling to herself. The two of us had a good giggle about that, as I can imagine just how she felt as we all have family who are an absolute pleasure but others are not welcomed with open arms!
Hourly Booking Requests
These are the ones who get more than the cold shoulder from me; some even have the nerve to say they just want to "have fun with their mistress for the afternoon" and only need a couple of hours!
I tell those creepy guys that the minimum stay is 48 hours and our hourly rate is very high which makes them ring off at the speed of lightning. If I'm not in the mood for games, they get a curt response and the call cut before they can utter another word!
At least if one gets a bad vibe from a prospective guest, you can simply tell them you're fully booked, so my instinct has never let me down!
The Body Builders
Well, then we had the cottage filled with bulging muscles when body-builders booked for a big contest. I had to take fresh towels to them, not realizing that whites and fake suntan lotion is not a good mix!
But, when the door opened and all I could see was the tiniest speedo and big brown bulging muscles, my eyes nearly popped out and I retreated at the speed of lightning; must have been a funny sight!
Dirt Rock Cover Band
A South African rock band needed sponsored accommodation and I saw it as a good marketing ploy, so we agreed, although a tad apprehensively.
We need not have worried as they proved us wrong; what is that phrase? Never judge a book by its cover, they were absolute gentlemen and did not break the place down whatsoever!
Mr & Mrs Right
When we saw the writing on the back of this car, I was a tad worried, expecting some fireworks!
Just joking, I could see this couple had a good sense of humour from day one! They've become regular guests as they live inland and come to the city to stock up on seafood and other goods unavailable in their little town. As they always book our small unit with a bar fridge, we store their frozen purchases in our freezer.
I have a ton of small ice packs as hubby's insulin is sent via courier monthly, so I always throw a couple into their cooler bag for the drive back home.
Hubby's an angler and on one occasion I got a phone call from them when they arrived home. Their cat apparently was in seventh heaven, as one of the ice packs in fact was a small box of sardine bait! It was exactly the same size as the ice packs and wrapped in the same bags!
Thank goodness it was them, as any other guest would not have been amused!
This is a never-ending story that seems to be getting crazier as more and more people are becoming paranoid about trivial issues and getting affected by the upside-down world we live in!
...To be continued...
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