Although my father was a fairly keen photographer, there are relatively few photos of me and any other immediate family kids in our albums.
The few photos that are there tend to show a very serious and somber — and slightly sad looking — little kid. Even at Christmas and birthdays.
Of course, some of that had to do with the fact that I really didn't like being photographed... although it was mostly that I was bothered by the brightness of the flash.
I never really thought much about my own "seriousness" until many years later when I landed in Texas at age 20, to go to University.
A young woman I went on a few dates with during my first semester day asked me "what had happened" to me, because I seemed to have an ever-present edge of sadness about me. Nobody had ever asked that before, and maybe Carol was a little more perceptive because she was a psychology student.
I assured her that nothing had "happened," but then have her the "bone" that my dad had passed away unexpectedly, just a couple of years prior... and that was the end of that.
In actuality, I have lots of reasons to be cheerful, but I just haven't ever been very demonstrative about it.
The other thing that's perhaps relevant is the fact that sadness doesn't make me uncomfortable, the way it seems to bother most people. In fact, I am quite comfortable sitting inside mild feeling of sadness. Not that I go looking for it, mind you!
When I look at "reasons to be cheerful," I find it mildly ironic that one reason I look for reasons to be happy is that having a sad person around is so uncomfortable for people. And I really don't want to be "that guy."
But is life truly a "cheerful" place?
We have cheerful moments, to be sure...
Much of the time, we invent cheerfulness as a way to cover over the fact that much of our existence is actually more like...
For my money, one of the greatest cinematic expressions of how life feels is the 2003 film Lost on Translation which perhaps does the best job I've ever seen of capturing that way in which we're often just doing our best to navigate a confounding world — filled with beauty and mystery — in the best way we can; a mild sense of ennui punctuated by moments of joy and excitement and wonder.
I suppose it speaks to the fact that we have been taught — conditioned, even — to gloss over the reality of human existence.
The pursuit of happiness.
Happiness is an experience we get to occasionally experience, but it is typically not a "thing" we get to have. And thus, we must grab the reasons to be cheerful when they come along and present themselves.
Likely, they will look different every time we encounter them. And likely, they will look different, dependent on the person having the experience.
Cherry blossoms in spring.
A purring kitten.
Your toddler's giggles.
A perfect chocolate dessert.
The smell of woodsmoke in early winter.
Find your reasons to be cheerful — the true reasons — and treasure them!
Thanks for stopping by, and have a beautiful remainder of your week!
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Created at 2024-02-19 23:47 PST
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