I make no secret of the fact that I often struggle with (a lack of) focus and concentration that often finds me all over the map of my life, trying to keep a great number of projects and ideas going in parallel, at any given moment.
Of course, society wants to label it "ADHD," but I steadfastly refuse... an over the years, I have learned to use a series of "coping and management tools" in lieu of allowing myself to get "drugged into oblivion."
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against "better living through pharmaceuticals," and some medications are very useful... but I prefer to limit such things to blood pressure meds and the like.
When I sit inside my personal experience with ADHD (and also draw on experiences and anecdotes others who are afflicted have shared), it has always struck me that there is always so much stuff on our plates; so many things clamoring for our attention.
I suppose it's just a natural consequence of so many things feeling interesting...
This morning I was reflecting on "all the things" I need to get done this week and started to feel a bit overwhelmed... at which point it occurred to me that one of the defining characteristics of ADHD — at least for me and for a lot of people — seems to be a difficulty practicing discernment.
Objectively speaking, it's not really a case of me having "more things" I need to get done, but a case of me having great difficulty prioritizing those things appropriately. That is, all the things that come up feel "equally important," and then I get stuck while contemplating where to begin.
What's more, I often make the wrong choice because I drift towards the things I would most like to do, rather than the things I most need to do.
Sometimes I get the distinct feeling that the majority of the world has just as many things going on that they need to get done as I do, but they have a much better ability to look at something, declare it "not important right now," and then move on with what matters most.
I find it quite difficult to "rank" things. Ans, as I said, I sometimes rank them "poorly," assigning excess priority to things I enjoy or to relatively meaningless "busy work" that might make it easier for me to deal with the most important things, but could just as well wait till next month, or next year.
Which, in turn, leaves those "most important things" UN-done, often causing me all manners of headaches and missed deadlines.
Even as I make my way through the day, using my system of "task notes" I created to help my productivity, I still find it a struggle to decide which things are most important... and I often end up in a pattern of "cleaning my desk so I can do my work" when I really should just launch directly into "doing my work."
What's more, I catch myself creating new "organization systems," rather than using those systems. But simply having a better system doesn't actually get anything done, by itself!
It's all a learning process... but sometimes it feels like I am moving incredibly slowly.
The most important thing I can do for myself is actually to STOP and consider whether or not the next step I'm embarking on actually has any value. Simple self-awareness has been a great help!
Thanks for reading, and have a great remainder of your week!
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Created at 2023-04-05 00:24 PST
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