Fails of the Urban Explorer: No More Ever

This will be the last ever publication of ‘Fails of the Urban Explorer’. I mentioned in the previous one, which was likely almost a year ago that these appeared to be cop-out posts and I wasn’t comfortable writing them.

If you check the file dates of these folders you will notice one is very recent. The reason for this was to create FOUR which is what the old format used to be. FOUR fails and what happened.

Veno

Let me start with 'Veno' which is the most recent. 'Veno' was a pain in the arse, to be honest. I know it's full of squatters and homeless people (or was) and yet we couldn't find a way in.

The front is deadly overgrown leaving us with no doubts that man has not trodden those paths in years, and the back…, jeez…, it was a case of avoiding the dog shit, or was that human shit? while trying to balance on collapsing piles of other miscellaneous crap and not fall over.

If someone's living there, it’s hardly ease of access in today's world. Climbing up that herras fencing perched the wrong way around and making a jump for the window sill wasn't on our agenda.

@anidiotexplores did check this other route which required some climbing but peering over the top edge, it required daintily treading on thin boards of wood to reach the edge of Veno. Fuck that.

Everyone seems to have managed this ‘average-explore’ beside us, even some little girls who have taken up the ‘new trend’ and ply their wares on the likes of TikTok and other inferior platforms.

We waded past the piles of questionable sourced excrement, last month's pizza, a few piles of stale barf, and exited dejectedly.

Beautiful Blinds

I picked this one from a Leeds newspaper report. 'Arson attack on building renders it unusable'. This generally means we can pull up and either walk in or climb through a window getting ourselves black with soot.

It’s a perk of the hobby, what can I say?

'Beautiful Blinds' indeed was thoroughly scorched and thoroughly sealed. How it had been torched could be anyone's guess, a Molotov cocktail through the window bars?

The owners had spared no expense on the razor wire on the smaller sub-building. A hole had been sledgehammered out but it led to very little on climbing down for a look, unless you like mouldy doorless fridges with no food inside.

The oversized car park was a puzzle and had decided it wanted to change careers and become a graveyard? Some ambition though I can’t criticize its passion, several edged the now unused spaces.

You could bed down, and drink beer for a long time before gaining access to ‘Beautiful Blinds’. A futile task I say. That's dedication for you.

Eccleston Golf Club

As this was from mid-2022, I am struggling with where I got the lead. The course itself and clubhouse have closed, but a fancy hotel remains very much open and next to our target.

As dog walkers pass the building regularly we had no issues getting close and they had no issues seeing us looking suspiciously at this well-boarded-up ex-clubhouse.

Wrong time, wrong place it said. Possibly up those stairs could have been the old way in, now it was filled with that shitty razor-wire and in large amounts.

Close up it reminds me of many small double-edged axes.

I used to play golf so another course closing is saddening. Green fees and membership are expensive and they take a lot of maintenance, and driving those buggies was always fun.

The course now is an overgrown wasteland, and the sights from the adjoining hotel are not quite as picturesque as they used to be.

The latest information is to watch your step, or something foul and pungent could end up on your shoes.

Millstead School

“It’s climbable”, I said to @anidiotexplorers who was gazing through the large green gates. I wasn’t referring to those but the wall to the left. A handy tree made for an easier landing on the far side.

It looked empty and abandoned given the neglect we could see in the pathways and signposts, some of which were only partially viewable.

The state of the windows answered our question, but how long had it been in this state? Security firms tend to be posted to such places and I try and avoid them if possible.

In any case, each window was secured with metal bars leaving me thinking this could well be the last lunatic asylum. They did want people escaping?

There were bright new boards everywhere; the type to send explorers on a downward spiral of doom and suicide. We lingered and continued through the grounds looking for signs of weakness.

What was that noise coming from the ‘Post Graduate Building.’ Was this a hospital or an outlet for University Students? We sauntered around the back to see a gaping hole, smashed boards and noticed the volume had increased in decibels.

“That’s a fucking alarm”, I said to @anidiotexplorers. Had someone just broken in? It looked that way and we were in the wrong place. Legging it back to the entrance point, we sped off and didn’t look back.

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