...'and there it was, the infamous Red Nova with @anidiotexplorers posing on one knee in blessed reverence'...

...'MTG?.., the flirty young maid who doubles as a sex slave sounds vastly more interesting'...

...'FREE Votes up for grabs, what can be better than that?'...

...'your own shitter complete with your name and whoa betide anyone who dumps in your personal trap'...

...'all those wrinkles, excess rolls of ancient fat, tobacco breath and Rover may also want to partake, bestiality?'..

Source: Image by @katharsisdrill Mort, the Shit Manager is a spin-off fictional series of short stories based loosely on the thoughts of David Mortenson, the tyrannical Kwiksave store manager who features

An abandoned 'Gas Station', or as we say here 'Petrol Station' is usually less than exciting. My stint in the USA has worn holes in me and my diction at times. For this one... parking was the biggest issue.

...''boy gigolo' scrambled down the iron stairs with his lusting travelling harem in pursuit..'...

..'Friday afternoon, toss the helmets, order the pints at the local boozer.'..

...'not even the local Liverpool sprogs hang out here; it’s just not interesting or cool enough'...

...'too fat?... not a chance, average looking?... I would need 6 pints before contemplation'...

...'Eve's Breasts were the highlight..., and they were not sexy'...

...'I had to remind myself I was in Liverpool, and ‘crime’ is quite normal here'...

...'not even some used needles dripping with heroin to photograph; bummer'...

...'some nasty, spiky-looking wrought iron deterrents gave us disapproving looks... and was that grease paint?'...

...'simply dreadful, not even a decent pair of tits, what's the world coming to?'...

...'“You two thieves were in there, weren’t you?”, he snarled with a thick Polish accent'...

...' did that hole contain a toilet brimming with last year's vagrant-donated watery diarrhoea?'...

...'Blimey, somebody.. or something ate the bottom half of the bed.'...

...'if you had offered me £200 to ‘do it again’, I would tell you to fuck off'...