I'm going to keep this one quick because aside from catching up with you it was a pretty uneventful day. And when I think back about it I just feel kinda blank.
And you know what, that's ok. I need a break from the same patterns of thoughts, do this, stretch, refill water do that, check tick boxes, rinse repeat.
Its actually not so much the physical structure that gets to me, its the background processes. There's actually a word for it that's escaping me at the moment, but I'm tired. I'm tired of the negative self talk, the bullying, the worry, it feels more trapping than any of the above structures I've built. The best way to break the mental patterns for me is to do something analog, so today it was tidying and clearing down the clutter.
I wasn't able to get through all of it becuase i'm being careful to mind my back and rest, but it definitely helped. I know I've got a lot more ahead of me but I also know how good it will feel. Theres such a level of inner peace I get from having that kinda stuff sorted out, I know you understand my whays.
I actually remembered today that my Grandma once told me that whenever she couldn't sleep at night she'd start cleaning. Maybe it's some sort of passed down thing.
Regardless, I did some audio layering with the google device playing forest sounds, and the speaker you gifted me playing some chill down meditation music. Lights set to a calming purple vibe, window blinds and the world blocked out.
Going to try to repeat that formula again tomorrow and see where I get.
To you my love, have a wonderful morning and afternoon. I'll be waiting here with open arms ready to chat or watch a film or whatever ya feeling.
I love you to the moon and back my mousey.
Happy Friday.
<3 Dayle
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