Greetings friends of this community of emotions and feelings. Today I wanted to pass on my feelings about my life satisfaction in retrospect. I am a 62-year-old woman who just turned 62. I don't go out much since the deadly virus appeared. I have refused all outings where I would engage with groups until now. I am a survivor of a deadly disease.
You know what? One day I was very sad because I felt so lonely. After having so much activity with family and friends being left at home because of someone else's causes made me feel very lonely and sad. I read in an online commentary that older people should prepare their life, their thoughts, and their attitudes toward life because everything changes for an older adult.
The commentary said that an older adult must get used to loneliness, to children leaving, and to not receiving frequent visits as before. He must prepare himself for the rest of his life in solitude.
Although I am not elderly this confinement brought me many questions. So this comment has made me think that not many people like to be in the company of an older adult. I must prepare myself to go out as best I can without being on the lookout for others to come and get me. I must prepare myself to share my senior life with people my age and maybe not with my younger relatives.
I must learn to live in solitude without reproaching anyone for their absence. I must learn to live without tears or regrets and be happy with what I have. In other words, I must learn to live with loneliness.
But I must say in my favor that I have no problem with loneliness because since I was young I lived free. I did the life I wanted, I was in the places I liked to be. I shared with loneliness for many more hours than I stayed accompanied.
In fact whenever I traveled on the bus to go from one city to another where I studied university life I used to settle into my bus seat to curl up with my thoughts. For the entire duration of the trip, 3 hours, 6 hours, and 20 hours of travel it was always a pleasure to do it with my thoughts.
I would create stories in my mind that I would then write down in a notebook as if they were a diary. I would think and create fictional stories with my surroundings or short stories that I never published. I loved living in my solitude in those moments. Today I want a little more company, times are hard but I can share with friends and companions of my times.
Many of them are already leaving. I keep in my mind the memory of what I lived with them and the sadness of the loss. Because with each death of a loved one, a part of our heart goes with them. And the part that remains with us remembers the joyful moments but also remembers the goodbye.
I think I am fine with my life despite all the current circumstances, I am happy to share if it is time to do so, I like solitude if I am with her, and I like life as it is. I am not a person of sadness to stay in tears or to recriminate myself for being alone, so I can only say that I think I am ready to continue living as I have done all my life, living with myself and my loneliness.
Of course, it is relative, I have a son with whom I get along very well and we share a lot. I also have many friends who call and we keep in touch. And my family, although we are all separated living in different countries and cities, we also communicate.
Sometimes I believe that God has prepared me to live in the situation that my country and almost all the separated families are living in today. I give thanks for each day of life, for each sharing, and for the satisfaction of what I have lived.
The pictures are my own, taken with the Redmi Note 9.
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The pictures are my property, taken with the Redmi Note 9.
