The word desperate is rarely used in addressing positive success stories and it baffles me a lot why the majority of the people in the world attach being desperate to something negative or evil.
When a fraudster is caught, a lot of people blame them for being desperate but it is the other way around when a person works diligently to achieve success, does that mean someone who worked diligently to achieve success wasn't desperate?
Desperation is a feeling of being pressured to achieve something at a particular period. Being pressured can mean a lot of things, it can be personal, social, or any other form of pressure.
Personal pressure for instance can be a situation in which someone is determined to achieve something for personal reasons. It could be about doing everything you can to get a job so you can live comfortably or buy a car and so on. Being desperate doesn't have to be attached to evil, desperation can serve as motivation to do good things as well.
In my little time in the world, I have heard people different stories about being desperate. It all beats down to how we handle the feeling and the actions we take while desperate.
I planned to get a good job after school so that I can take care of my family but things turned out differently. The people I have always wanted to take care of after my education turned out to be the ones taking care of me.
It made me sad that things weren't going as planned. The longer I remained in that situation, the bigger my desperation to put an end to that miserable life became. All I needed was a job and I was doing every possible to get one.
Out of desperation, I do trek for hours every day knocking on different company gate but all my effort was in vain. I was desperate but not ready to settle for less.
I was introduced to the owner of a bar somewhere in Lagos. The bar was huge and I felt like managing the place would fetch me money.
During our interview, the man was struggling with a setting on his PC so I helped him out. I haven't gotten the job but I do go there often with the hope of convincing him that I can do a good job with the place. The man became fond of me even before I got the job, he would give me a task and pay me more than he should.
One day, I went there and he told me that he has an offer for me. He said the offer was something that would change my life for good.
I was happy thinking it was the role of the bar manager I was hoping for but I was wrong. He said he knew that I have something in my head so he felt I could use it to make huge money.
Later that day, he introduced me to two of his friends and he said I should come over at night which I agreed to with the hope that it was something positive like crypto trade because it was a trend then.
Night came, he gave me a new HP laptop and a modem, he taught me a few things and gave me a task to do after. I asked questions and it turned to be that they were internet fraudsters.
I went home sad that night knowing that I was walking into hell. The point is that he saw my desperation and used it to lure me into his dirty act. I felt terrible because that wasn't what I wanted.
I told someone about it and he told me that I needed to be careful because backing out in an unfriendly way could attract a big problem for me. That wasn't what I wanted and I always go to his place with fear because I know how influential he was.
After a few days, I told him that I wasn't coming again and his response was threatening. I made it clear that if he had told me what it was, I wouldn't have came that night.
He persuaded me but I stood my ground and ran to my mom's place the next day. I was there for weeks and this man wouldn't stop calling me.
While I was at her place, I didn't stop looking for a job and I eventually got one. The pay was fair so I returned to my place and the man I was hiding from always told me to see him but I didn't answer him.
About a year after, I got the news that he was arrested by EFFC for fraud and I haven't heard from him since then. I was always watching my back even after he stopped calling because he might be thinking I tipped the police about him.
I could have just taken his offer out of desperation and who knows what my story would have been. If I was arrested with him that day, a lot of people would have said that I was desperate.
Getting the job too happened because I was desperate, I combed the city of Lagos searching for fair pay. I didn't allow being desperate to lead me into something terrible.
The feeling can't be blamed and I think humans should blame themselves for not being able to make the right decision while being desperate.
It doesn't have to do with getting a job only, some people go into marriage just because they are desperate, and in the end, they blame the feeling when things don't work out well.
When the feeling kicks in, it is important that we are careful with every action we take to avoid making a grave mistake, I tell people to always double-check what the outcome of their decision could be when desperate to do something.
One of the things I have always done when the feeling sets in for me is to remind myself that I can be delayed but not denied.
Whatever the thing is that I am desperate about, I believe that I can get it done as long as I keep making a good effort towards it. The point is to channel the feeling and energy that comes with desperation into doing something positive. We should always remember that we will bear the consequences if we use the energy wrongly.